Lumpenproles: thieves and cheats, general scum

I really don’t think you were a NEET or a lumpen. Like I said spent some time on /v/ around true NEETs, they wouldn’t take any job that didn’t pay really well and was easy. Their identity is wrapped around consumerism but I see other mid aged female NEETs that don’t keep their house clean.

I am 100% gay

I see all lumpenproles as potential comrades.
NEETs? They are perfectly in line with the idea of abolishing work entirely for everyone at some point in the future, and this is in line with socialists reducing working hours in the past.
Sex workers? I find it to be exploitative under capitalism, but I've known a small handful with radical views (there was once an anfem sex worker who posted here, don't know if she's still active) so this is obviously not a lost cause as a group of people. It does raise the question as to whether sex work would exist under full communism.
Hobos & vagrants? These types of people were quite active in the IWW during its height, and have had a lot of influence on its lingo/culture to this day.
General criminals, gangsters, mafiosos, etc. ?Probably the most hopeless out of any of them, but I've met one who was a post-left anarchist type interested in illegalism.
Marx & Engels were right to be skeptical of this group, but I don't think they're tendency is exclusively or even primarily reactionary

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So you mean the vast majority of proles, especially in America? You have a naive view of the proletariat.

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Mafia bosses are literally the lumpenbourgeoisie.

Yes, you've described what the lumpenproletariat is. But you haven't explained how it qualifies as "the other side of the same coin" it shares with the bourgeoisie. They have nothing in common socially or economically — and no, muggings and surplus extraction are not just the same type of "theft".