i know what you're saying kinda, but your (you) is also right in saying this attitude doesn't work for everyone.
i think i've somewhat outgrown the 'beta' mindset and just due to age i've become more of a hard headed guy. in some ways, i would characterize that as a reactionary trait, which i really am not proud of and generally try to keep in check.
and by that i mean, i acknowledge i am white, male, and straight, and make no apologies for it. as much as libs will tell you otherwise, i think you need to accept yourself for who you are and be proud of that, but i'm not making some political statement in saying that either like Zig Forums does. Just, like, be happy with your face and smile when you look in the mirror at yourself kinda thing. i struggled with negative self image for so long and i still do. i have a really bad obsession with saying 'sorry' for the dumbest social faux pas and letting people violate my own personal boundaries. ithink a huge part of this is emotional/sexual/physical abuse i received as a kid. it wasn't until a few weeks ago that i really uncovered what i've been going through all my life and it really started to make sense. it kinda was that epiphany moment, almost like when you leave a cult and your entire world is shaken up. …but i digress.
in the city i'm living in, i just see all this 'tough guy' bullshit and honestly if you don't compete or have the will to defend yourself against this crap, women think you are weak and all of a sudden nobody wants to fuck you or they think you are maladjusted. you gotta be the partying type, you gotta be social, have a social media presence,.. all these things have never been me because i'm not a flashy person. i've always been quiet, reserved, and instrospective so all this stuff works against me.
and honestly man, yeah, its not 'disrespecting women' i have a problem with, but it was more just i had too high of standards for htel ongest time and that caused me to put too many women on a pedestal.
i've been working at not doing that, and now i've done the mental work to at least realize that as a virgin, i'm not entitled to anything, and that if i wanna get laid, i just need to fuck the first girl that volunteers, so long as she is fitting a base level kind of attractiveness.
i'm realizing i'm way far behind on my ability to talk/interact with women and part of me has realized, i just need to start hanging out with the female counterpart of myself to better understand how women think.
i don't even have female friends, so meeting more of them is kind of a catch-22 at this point.
i've been on dating apps but these are ruthless and i'd be lying if i said it hasn't made the 'incel' inside me come back a little bit in the last week or two.
for some reason when i go on these apps and someone does or says something that pisses me off, i always somehow go back to my 'old ways' in terms of behavior, even if i don't intend or want to.
but either way, i've just kept trying, and i'm just going to keep trying to developing myself and put up some decent photos and take the first person that matches me and hope for the best. idk.