Is it adultery to date a woman who has already had a kid with someone else?

of course it's still sinful, the woman is still married to the woman. only death ends the marriage.

man still married to woman*

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Who cares if it's adultery or not? It's a bad idea whether it's a sin or not.

Tell me in Matthew 5:32 where Jesus said "except death", it's clearly "except porneia".

catholic.com/magazine/print-edition/no-divorce-except-for-fornication

Think of this way; is Jesus Christ the narrow way or not?

Secondly, who sins? The adulterer or the one who was sinned against?

If fornication was applicable grounds for divorce; then why would Christ even speak up in correction of the Jews?

Of course he is.
I'm not sure what you mean by that, can you reiterate the question? Clearly a person committing adultery is sinning, what do you mean by the one who was sinned against?
There were two schools of thought in Judaism at the time, the school (or house) of Hillel and the school of Shammai, according to the school of Hillel a husband could divorce his wife for a trivial reason such as burning or over-salting a meal. In this case it's pretty clear to me that Jesus is rebuking the school of Hillel and agreeing with the school of Shammai.

The questions I have for you would be:
1: If a woman marries a good Christian man and then discovers that he is sexually deviant (he commits adultery, he engaged in homosexual behaviour, he engaged in incest, he engaged in beastiality) would it not be right for the woman to divorce herself form this man and if not what would your course of action be?

In my own personal opinion not even death is a good reason to divorce (see John Chrysostom letter to a young woman) for what has been joined together by God let no man seperate, the two have become one flesh. However by the committal of sexual immorality the man or woman cleaves to another flesh and hence it is permissable (but heavily discouraged)