US Navy Rams Evil Canadian Vessel

Yeah, it's pretty hard to evade another ship when you can see around for many kilometres and it would take dozens of minutes until you actually hit the other ship. No American can expect to have such fast reaction times to evade something you're driving towards for half an hour.

Didn't the amerifats start claiming that the chinks/russians were 'hacking' their ships to crash into stuff before?

I think you failed to understand what I wrote.
The fact that you have longer to react to a collision course in a ship is exactly one of the reasons I gave for why they happen.

You're assuming the LCS "main gun" works… the German radar probably does, even if it runs on liquid gold or something unnecessarily complicated (but then at half a billion the corvette I hope they gouged the fucking burgers).
Private companies have standards, pic related is the first related when looking up the Freedom-class MS Freedom of Seas Captain of Royal Caribbean International.

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Having a Shin'yo would be fun too, but I miss the days of huge cannons raining down heavy shells.
I wonder if it would be possible to make something like the type 3 shell except not shit. Setting bases on fire with cannons make me smile.

What's the biggest cannon one could reasonably fit on a monitor Zeppelin?

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I see USN decided to go back to its roots. To become an elite force by understanding what came before. Right now they're practicing ramming, like the ancient triremes.

nearly hitting a tanker worth literal billions, or an LPG/LNG ship worth even more, doesn't matter because dude it isn't pretty lmao

Do you mean fit on it as in 'that a zeppelin could technically carry'? Or as in 'that could be fired from a zeppelin without sending the airship spiraling all over the place'?

Let's start with an airship equivalent to the Hindenburg as our base vehicle (no thermite pain or anything like that this time though). That gives us around 10'000kg of payload to work with, which doesn't seem to give us much room for any of the 'superguns' I can find. Even the larger naval cannons would be too much if it has to carry ammunition and fuel, crew, etc. You might be able to fit an AS90/PzH 2000 equivalent with all the kit you'd need to fire it though.

If you went with an An-225 Mriya you'd have the weight to carry something more substantial, either a WWI tier big gun or a small battery of smaller pieces hooked up to the same trigger.

The point is that they look very different, so people perceive them as being different, whereas planes look the same, so people perceive them as being the same. Yes, there's a lot of money at stake, but how many people see the headline that a tanker got hit and have anything more than the mildest possible reaction? Nobody cares since it was just a cargo ship. But if a plane nearly gets hit, regardless of what it's carrying, people get worked up because it could just as easily have been a passenger jet. That difference of perception applies to the higher-ups too. Money isn't a big deal if you're not paying for it (or not directly paying), but if you get someone killed people start caring.