I was arguing with some christian women online, and it was pointed out a gender inbalance in the church.
I knew of it but… until now never paid much attention…
But I decided to research on it, and found out a lot of research been going into it, and the conclusions are some stuff I already had my suspicion:
modern churches are too feminine, they embrace feminine values, the activities are feminine, and so on…
also the research showed to me something that I learned, I was wrong about…
I believed strongly, that the gap was just that women are more spiritual, but most religions have women and men in equal numbers or more men than women, Christianity (excepting Orthodox, but there is no Orthodox church near me), is the only religion that is female dominated.
As I went reading the articles, they pointed out lots of stuff that for me is true…
Example: one article pointed out that youth groups often fail to keep boys, because they have very lenghty singing sessions with lots of "love style" songs and songs about being thankful…
Except adolescent boys, don't have much to be thankful for yet, so it feels pointless… and indeed, it felt that way to me. I went because people made me to, I hated it.
Sunday school… same shit, sitting still while a female teacher spout nonsense, stuff I KNEW it was nonsense and couldn't correct because I am just a kid, and the girls buying it all (including some sad episodes, like people deciding games are evil and wanting to burn board games, later I learned that was a rumour, that started with a guy named Josue Yrion… there are lots of terrible videos of him on youtube, he had a twitter account that looked like parody but twitter deleted it).
So after I left the church, I started to read the bible, I became more and more masculine, not just in appearance, with beard and whatnot, but in behaviour, becoming more competitive, outspoken (despite being introvert), being turned off by masculine women (short hair, blazer, etc… turn me off), and so on…
I want to go back to the church, hopefully start my family there, and I want to lead at least my family, more people if possible, into a future where Christianity still exists… Other religions are out-reproducing and out-converting us, christian countries keep being baited into stupid wars and are overextending, and feminist culture is destorying our countries from within.
Even if I have to move to a distant farm and raise my family there with christian values, I want to preserve those christian values, I want a next generation where men are men, women are women, and they all follow YHWH.
Yet… I don't know where to start… the place where I live has a crazy amount of Assemblies of God (seriously, there is even one street with TWO churches of these), and some other pentecostal churches, also my country was until some 30 years ago Catholic majority, and is not hard to find those cool catholic churches with spires and towers… But I don't know where I can go, and be a man, and attract a mate, and lead by example, maybe I am sinning by being too timid, but I feel like if I try, I will just be ostracized and ejected right out of the door again.