Self-Improvement General

I declare open this thread, as a guide to self development in the path of the superior christian man we all strive to be.
Make it like the other cyclical threads, so that we may all post about any recommendations and question we may have, about self improvement as human, not necessarily related to religion, but about leading a proper christian life.

Also, it is noted in various resources of the type, how its important for men to keep regular friendship with equally strong men, where we can brutally honest with each other, and find out if we were being lazy, false and just complacent about some objective or our path in life. So may we make this also a space where you share your plans, open and truthfully so others may judge if you're being honest with yourself on your purpose. Give updates and feedback so that we all may grow on our own.

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For example, let me get this started, something that I learned in the past few days:

Link related is from >>>/fit/
It basically talks about how bad modern wheat is, besides the gluten shit. I was worried about this and even took tests in the past to check out for gluten and lactose tolerance, always had sort of a inflated belly and hard time losing fat even when working out and watching my diet.
the tl;dr of this is that between the gluten there is an opioid protein that attaches to brain receptors, increasing appetite in general, plus it has a possibility of aggravating psychological problems, like psychotic attacks and even attention in ADD.
But there is not all, this protein also causes a inflammation of the intestine which in turn cause auto-immune response system wide, being a big negative for the whole system, like digestion problems, diarrhea, and even joint pains, as a side affect it causes more blood sugar and visceral fat to be absorbed.
"But what about in jesus times?" yeah he mentions that as a very common question, and turns out (unsurprisingly) that wheat had been severely modified genetically in recent times, and the particularly strain that's most widely used right now came around in the 60s, likely world wide spread because of its higher yield.
Oh yeah and that protein we mentioned earlier, apparently is also some sort of pesticide that strengthens the plants against plagues, he mentions that is also present in corn, soy and possibly rice.

I know it seem a bit much, but I always felt somewhat bloated and sick after ingesting wheat stuff, specially if some treat higher in calories. At some point in the last weeks I was without appetite and ended up passing on eating bread daily (basically my only wheat source now), soon after I begun eating it again and indeed there was surprisingly difference, you ought to try it for yourself and get you own conclusions, but now I'm staying away from this stuff.

Also gonna start of with the example about sharing our situation.

I've been looking to uneet my self after spending a long time just wasting time and barely making any progress towards my goal.
My specifically is join the aviation area as a technical maintenance, I needed to take some qualification tests and was postponing a lot in the past year.
But then it happened and my now ex-gf broke up with me, supposedly because I was being lazy, and that perhaps I should be also working on something else in the meantime.
The break up was pretty devastating to me, because I wasn't expecting it at all, but of course it got me to face my reality once again and set it straight.
Now an opportunity has shown up, to go back to being a waiter in a fancy restaurant, not exactly what I want, but something I like to do and pass the time with, and decent way to earn some money. On the downside it will consume a lot of my time, even weekends, meaning I wont be able to attend mass so often, which really helped me in these times.
I'm hoping to find a opportunity in my area meanwhile, I still have other tests to check up, but even then there is no guarantee I'll be able to get an open spot any time soon.
So, suggestions? What I'm afraid in falling into this waiter job and becoming a settled wageslave once again, and since its a job I did such long time ago, it also feels like I'm somewhat regressing.

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So… was the idea for this thread a bad one?

...

I don't want to improve myself, I want to die.
Trying to reconcile this with Jesus is kindof a hard thing to do.

Also, making friends is essential, but I just don't like people, also I don't have a stable enough job to dare and get out of my house and start going to the gym, which is something I should really do because I'm slowly killing myself by eating myself to death.

-Move Iron
-Practice Purity
-Read Deeply
-Eat Well
-Stand Tall
-Improve Your Weaknesses
-Give Glory To God
-Pray Your Jesus Prayer

Time waits for no man.

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Gym elastics are great. You can carry them around and adjust them for the type of exercise/weight that you need.

Church is more important than a job. That is the only advice I have to say.

Some possible goals I've either started working on or want to:

It's a far amount, so I don't expect total success everywhere. That being said, any advice, commentary, criticism, or encouragement is appreciated.

I'm well aware brother, but if you can't distinguish the difference between the two, you may actually be stupid.


I know, I don't want to lose that, but also having a job to do very important, idle hands are the devils workshop, are they not?
Anyway, I don't know if the job opportunity will take off, I'm praying for the best path to open up. And even then, maybe I can go to church on alternative times.


You mean super rubber bands?

Yeah.

I want to learn how to interact with people better, because I feel like I come off as rude and make others feel bad unintentionally

It's hard to control my libido. Highly intensive exercises and tiring myself out don't really make any difference. How do I deal with this.

I wish I knew

Oh, they are actually called resistance bands, and make sure you get the proper thick ones, not the surgical tubing ones.
And they're great, there is a large portion of exercises that you can exclusively with them, if you get creative and even more if you find a suitable support base.


Find out what exactly is putting you off, if you're shy or introspect or just to dry in conversation.
Think about this, what makes someone interesting, is being interested himself. So that you should naturally be interested in other people it will make you more interesting yourself.
Most people are to preoccupied to behave like that, so you would someone different as well.


Same here friend, it doesn't help getting into top physical shape and nutrition makes one more prone to procreation.
My guess is that a large part of our sex drive is from the already established porn/fap addiction, so hopefully it gets easier after we can shake that off.

I don't even fap, I think that's not normal. However my libido has always been high imo, even before I got access to internet I already dreamed about seeing the girls in my elementary school class naked. It's such a puzzling thing to me because I don't even have a desire to fap or have sex. Maybe this is just the condition I'm born with.

Build a time machine and live in a time with no street ads, no internet and modestly dressed women everywhere including Church.

This is an issue of mine. Everytime I do something to look decent, getting a haircut, a new nice pair of jeans because the old one has a hole, getting into shape etc. I feel the need for people to look at me and acknowledge me even though I'm just trying to take care of myself. Sometimes it feels like monastic life is the only issue

Pray

Thought this was kind of relevant to self–improvement.

Okay, so to give some feedback here.
I was to finish a book today, read a lot of it this week. Was able to stay without masturbation for this week, practically without porn with the exception of a few peeks.
This week also specially challenging with regards to church activities, went to singing classes and sung our at choir practice, did some public readings during service, even got to rang the bell one day, so pushing my limits in this sense at least.
Got to see the nice cute girls at church though not much time at all to talk, hopeful we can get closer in the following weeks.

Now I need I need some more things to focus over the next week, and specially the weekend since these are the worst.
Still not even even a hint of possible job calling, I'll have to start studying for a eventual test next month, but I doubt it will be of any issue. Already got a book to read next, specifically something of a different subject from the previous one. Will also start working out again, three days a week, full intensity.
But still the question remains, what else can I do Zig Forums, give me suggestions.

I really want to improve my discipline. This area doesn't come naturally, since almost everything I've ever achieved has either come because of my own interests and obsessions or because I had a gun to my head. My room is a mess and classes start tomorrow. I have constant brain fog and I never feel like I slept enough which only makes it harder to complete tasks I don't want to do.

Are there any good christian podcasts that focuses on self-improvement?

Do not know about that. Regular podcasts that were not "self improvement" per se moved me in good direction.
As far as lifting is concerned there is Liftwaffe.I haven't listened for a great time because it basically bored me.
You do not need any particular podcast, you need to unleash your will

Things I managed to achieve:

What I still lack:

I will put it plainly. My lacking confidence to get that job and me being too proud afraid to talk to my ex are now two biggest things that hold me back. Meanwhile I got better and worse work out weeks. Nowadays the prayer is not regular, and so isn't scripture reading. I feel abandoned and mostly blackpilled about everything - my future here on earth, my prospects of salvation. I mean nearly everything. I know it is a sin to wish for it all to be over but the last few days I just cannot help it. It strikes me down more and more each day. I am not even sure how I will present myself on job interview or how I will talk to my ex in this defeatist state of mind. It feels like I have already lost everything beforehand and now I just await the formality of being rejected.
Me not praying is the root cause of my distress and I am unable to break it.
So that's it

Bumping this thread

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Why bump it just a few minutes after you own reply?


Welcome friend, sorry to hear what you're feeling like, that is not a proper state for a men, you should follow your purpose and always live your edge, so take some time to find your spirituality and purpose again.

As for me, you probably know me from a recent break up with a disguised evil mistress that nearly broke me.
I still am having trouble getting over it, but I nearly see no other way around it, but to let go.
But overall I've been feeling alright, growing spiritually, studying and reading a lot, managing to fill my time even without a proper work. The latter point which is still a major hassle in my life, god help me from this limbo.
Also joined the church's choir and reading groups, today had my first presentation and it was nice, in this group there is also a very charming young girl, that I'm afraid to be too old for her to be interested in.

So this was a fine day at least, but my biggest enemy is yet to be faced, the pornography monster, I'm just a few days into nofap since my last failure and started to get problems. This is by far the thing that most swings my mood, by the end of the week I start to feel miserable and angry, and after relapsing I get depressed and deflated. This is also around when my worst feelings regarding missing my ex come about.

And btw, speaking of the dreaded woman, I talked to her a couple of weeks back, it was my birthday, as you can imagine it didn't go so well, I'm still holding feelings of attachment and ended up being a sob. There is this book I'm now reading about finding your life's purpose, she had borrowed it before but didn't have the time to read it before the break up, I'm thinking of gifting it to her somehow, with a message inside. This was part of the sob feeling of lately, but I really think it would be a book she could benefit from. If she could meet up personally with me it would be nice, if she don't want to I can just leave the book somewhere and say goodbye forever.

Sorry. I am off my shape because today was the day I talked to her. Already posted about it in /relationship/. It went well, better than I expected. What the future holds remains to be seen. I am definitely not the kind of guy that would fixate upon a broken love and never fall in love again….so when I meet the right one, it will kill residual hurt feelings. Also exposing myself will allow myself to heal…but first I have to face that wound being opened again. Well that had to be done in order to sort things out, to stop running away like a faggot.
If God intends her to be my wife, we will get together one way or other. If not and she's better off without me, so be it. There will be another women. But seriously. She IS wife material. No doubt about it.
I know I have to find my way again. I have to come back to where I was one year ago. Monk-ish life style, working on myself of what I pointed out as things I lack…setting them up is a good small step forward, get closer to God also. Get to trust Him more. It is a lot of work to do, no doubt.
After today I am somewhat less blackpilled but I see that a great fight is ahead of me. Not sure if I will make it still. As of now…the two last years seemed to be a mere practice round for the true fight ahead of me. I was silly to think most of it was behind me. Also I feel less apt to give advices. I got values and overall path settled out…but a long way to go. Now I do feel like I scratched the bottom of the barrel, just like 2 years ago. So now the only way is upwards since it is the only way to go.

You seem to be doing great - by reading all your posts in this thread so far. You do plenty of things to get out of your comfort zone I do not even know what to suggest. Perhaps the only thing would be: do not stop, do not get pacified by early results. This happens to me…it definitely happened to me for the last few months. Overwhelmed by the nofap success I stopped praying regularly. Overwhelmed by hobbies success my work out became irregular. Overwhelmed by autistic obsession with books I disregarded that I should settle it out with ex. Do not do the easier things. Analyze what scares you and then defy the comfort zone. Even in small things. I made mistake "all right no cold showers but I still work out" "all right I do not fap anymore so it is ok that I do not pray sometimes." etc. I got drunk by a battle won while the war rages on. This is what ultimately stopped my growth, appealed to my pride and then struck me down hard into the bottom.
My suggestion for you is: do not let it happen. Gather your willpower to continue the way you perform right now. Set your goals, when you reach them, set other but not entirely comfortable ones. I know I am not doing that bad as it may sound the way I write. After all I managed to dump porn, fapping, get many things done. But it is true that I reached a plateau by flaws designed in my approach, exploiting my natural weaknesses - pride, comfort, fear of new things.
As far as the ex you talk about….from what you wrote it seemed there is no coming back but that will settle itself with time. Moving on is a long process. I am in one right now too.
As for me: The next time I attempt to use the "tired/not now" excuse when it comes to morning/evening prayer, I will hit my head straight against the wall. As a start it is fine to set up the prayer back.

Right now I am going to set up a list of things that should be done/should have been done yet I am lazy to change them. Some of them will be old desire list, some will be anew, I will hang it in my room visibly(just as I hanged my last relapse date on a wall and it still hangs there, the old rotten paper) and work my way to get them done asap - cold shower, the getting up, etc. No excuses
Right now is the best moment to come back with a crushing force. I am really annoyed by this faggotry of mine - excuses why I did not do sth, self-pity, self agrandizement, celebrating minor successes as if all was over yet.
Thanks for this thread and thanks for your feedback. Hopefully I will find my way back to God somehow.
God bless

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So far going strong. Perhaps the melancholy of last weeks was good. It got me back to what I should have been doing anyway.
Hopefully I will not lose track of this recent surge in motiation

Bumping /sig/
I’m working on letting cigarettes, weed, alcohol, porn, vidya, and kratom go. I can feel myself at the edge of nothingness. Gotta save what’s left of me before it’s too late. Been remembering all my life experiences lately, realizing my life hasn’t been all that bad and it’s better to live it sober. One thing at a time. Gonna make this week “power week”. Pray for me, it’s been a long road of self destruction.

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Have exams this week and next, need to try get a grip and try and scrape a pass, probably going to fail and screw up my degree and my internship and future.

Don’t be such a negative Nancy. Believe in yourself, and believe that God has you where you need to be. You’ll either pass and continue on or fail and end up somewhere else God wants you. Either way, brighten up. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Thank God you are in school.

U wot m8

"Superior Christian" also equates in the very delicious fruit of "long suffering".

The Lord wants you to retail your humility, no matter what. Not get proud off of your own merit or attempted merit. Etc. Lower yourself.

Seriously, try this out. I did it, wasn't absolutely perfect with everything BUT boy did it make a difference.

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How is everybody doing?
Time for our check up and report/review ourselves.

I've been having a reasonably good time, failed last week to PMO, but I feel I got much better at it, and even broke a personal record of nearly 2 weeks, I was feeling pretty damn sad though, but I guess I just need to let go.
Weekends are still the worst to me, the feeling that everyone is enjoying it with their loved ones, and there I am being lone and miserable all by myself (specially because I used to enjoy weekends like that). But this Sunday I've managed to get a good start, by going for a big bike ride on the morning, and then getting back to my practice of handcrafting chain rings, it all still felt somewhat lonely afterwards but I had a good time.

My motivation still wavers somewhat, by feeling good about it, though I'm second guessing my desire to stay chaste with nofap, this time around my libido is being much stronger, thinking of the lewd material I desire to see, and really going nuts just at the sniff of a real women, and feeling more at the edge altogether.
One thing is true though, this time they recommended me for daily three Hail Mary, daily after waking up and before sleeping. This is really strong I know, I was doing it before but not like this, now I'm going to be committed to doing it daily, also with another prayer for Saint Joseph for employment and work. I should be doing it at least until the end of next week, when my next certification test comes around.
And speaking of which, doing fine following my studies and reading (somewhat), and following my set daily chores, even though they don't mean that much right now, at least it feels I'm following with my purpose.

God bless all, and feel free to share your achievements and struggles.

Could you tell me more, user? How did it make a difference? What were you before? What did you become afterwards? How did you do it? etc

I will probs try it soon. Thanks for sharing, user.

Sorry to hear about PMO fail. But other than that you seem to be going fine. Keep the momentum up

This aged well.
Prayer: still not very regular but I am working on it, it is much better
Scripture reading: haven't made it yet to be every day, probably the weakest point
Morning warmup with push ups and squats: Going well
Cold showers: going well
I managed to purge the last remnants of me looking at "suggestive" photos of dressed chicks, usually it leads to less dressed women, then drooling over hot chicks….so I managed not to go to /b/. One time I went there I searched just for "fb" thread. I was lonely and I wanted to see beautiful faces. But thanks to filter I did not see anything worse. I realize that perhaps this is not ideal too…because there is always a danger of me progressing towards naked women. But thanks to God's help I never visit /gif/ or /s/ anymore…this was the issue 4 months ago or so.
What I want to do is to stabilize the cold shower system, warm ups, prayer and scripture schedule and then work my way up in other ascetic battles. It may sound lame but those are well over my head right now and it is quite a struggle. I also intend to do more sit ups since this is the work out I loathe but my abdomen really needs it.
Other things I want to do in the future:

I forgot to add that my reading schedule works well even though I am heavily plunged into work. My initial euphoria with "libido dominandi" somewhat faded, but the book is solid. Still reading "men among the ruins" but I probably liked the other books of the trilogy more.

Nice post. I will adapt few points from it. I am not getting away my icons or flags though. No way. But I realize I have to simplify everything in my place to the pulp, that is to say..throw all the unnecessary stuff away, I have to go to Zig Forums and Zig Forums just once a day and I have to cut meaningless podcasts.
Also the diet has to get under control once and for all.

So much things to do.

Lots of you seem to be in a similar place to mine here.

Despite all the bad stuff that's happening around me I am still incredibly hopeful for my future, regardless of whether I get to live or die in the next 5 years, so that is good.

I improve spiritually by praying more often. Daily rosary because I do not have enough love and trust in Mary. Adoration of the Holy Sacrament on Fridays. Singing in the choir at every Sunday mass, and attending weekly mass on Wednesdays.

I have been badly hindered in my physical improvement because an undesirable encounter with my ex has forced me to leave my sports group, so now I cannot box anymore and I cannot get advice on my weight training anymore. I really hope to find a Christian group to do the same things with and to build a community with in preparation for rough times, but I don't know where to look. I need to ask more advice from my priest also.

On the positive side, since the past 2 weeks, this incident has allowed me to refocus on my bookbinding studies, and so I am going to start reading bookbinding manuals and practicing at home again on top of the school work. This is my most urgent task because I'll need to make a living out of it when my course is over.

It's hard dealing with the current state of the world while focusing on building a hypothetical life, brothers. Everywhere in the news reeks of civil war and economical crisis to come very soon. I see no way out of this in the short future, so I stay in my tracks instead of trying anything stupid. Sometimes I think monastic life is the inevitable end of our journey.

At least, I have been gifted with a strong resistance to sexual temptation and so when I see how hard it is for some of you guys, it just inspires me to pray more for you.

My main issue is not the lack of discipline. I am a stubborn individual who can get into a routine and run in the ascetic mode for months. But I lack healthy confidence in myself and my abilities (although if you speak to people who know me some of htem my speak highly of my abilities.). But I just do not feel like it. I have some confidence but it highly depends on situation. My job involves communication with people, you just need to have their trust. My main issue is not lack of skill but rather being an autist introvert for a long time. As a result I am less communicative when I feel down, especially under higher pressure. I need to get to face the reality in the harshest manner possible to turn this tide. I need to mature in this quickly or I won't make it in my employment and in seeking a wife, obviously. I have little time so I do not have time to procrastinate but sometimes I create problems that substitute the target of my attention so I do not have to face my weakest point…the point I have to hit with all might I have.
Paradoxically, ceasing masturbation was an easier task for me. I have already made a great progress in conquering myself,…considering how uncertain I was few years ago.

I would appreciate your advice on how to do it. I already do not mind socializing, I took up activities around church that force me to deal with people on a personal level. So so far I am able to deal with people profesionaly if the situation is not escalated into a stressful one. Once the situation gets tough, especially if the person views me with a scorn/thinks of me as of an inferior…I am likely to quickly lose my confidence and as the result….break under pressure.

Any suggestions on how to face this and improve my esteem in this would be greatly appreciated.

I took advice of anons here and prayed to hate my sin, and by Gods grace I think my prayer was answered. Its been 3 days now, no porn, no pmo etc. The only other time Ive managed to do anything at all near this was at OCS for the Marine Corps. And once I got back from that I fell into my old ways immediately. I pray much more now, and God is helping. And this has all been after probably the worst two months of my life, though I cant say Im quite out of it yet, and if it brings me to God, then I should also hope it to continue.

I completely stopped going to 4chan. I like fit, lit, and pol, but its too much temptation. /lit/ not so much, but if I go there, Ill go elsewhere too. That and the blackpilling is getting out of hand, its too much of a negative source. God says trust, not fear.

Im also planning on starting to go to a sunday school thing, instead of just church, but Im worried itll be one of those wheres its like a clique. Hopefully not since its a college aged thing, not high school, but guess Ill never know until I try.

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Godspeed brother. Remember that the first 3 or 4 days of nofap are the easiest but after that it gets much tougher for a while. Be ready to distract yourself.

How are you guys doing?
Right now I am doing well. I read large amounts of books for work as well as for personal needs. I again dove into slumber with prayer and scripture. But I have managed to push the cold shower issue and I re-established my self esteem somewhat. The latter is the most important right now.

Nice to hear from you
I'm doing reasonably good, unfortunately around my last reply was when I failed and succumbed to masturbation once again. I'm again feeling somewhat like that, wavering in motivation, on a emotional roller coaster. I still managed to keep my dick in check, but my porn addiction withdrawal is starting to kick in.

But I'm managing some really good stuff though, I took a break this week from working out, got back to reading, did a certification test and got a really good score, and not only that in these two week I felt like making a good breakthrough socially, like meeting new people and talking more, by the grave of God.

However I still can't shake this "its not enough" feeling, still haven't had a window of opportunity for a job, and missing my ex dearly, with mixed feelings of anger and sadness, that emotional roller coaster I mentioned. Starting to give on the idea of giving her an book and trying to meet and talk, I of course still want to meet her, by I'm getting to realize it will be pointless even trying if she just isn't open to it. I still think she will come to regret and miss me, but there literally isn't anything I can do to try and remedy that, if she doesn't establishes contact back there's simply nothing I can do.

On the other hand, besides the bad feelings, I'm kinda feeling more confident and strong in general, there is this one girl in church, that dresses super nice and manages to enchant every time she shows up, which isn't often, however I realized Tinder has really spoiled me on the capacity to approach regular women, I have to clue how to act next, even though we already kinda talk with each other. Yesterday there was even a new record for me, during mass I was doing liturgy reading and the band didn't show up, so one of the ministers asked me to sing all by myself on the communion song, it was a quiet Thursday, but still a first none the less.

Oh and yeah, can you share the book on Libido Dominandi if you can, I want to read it next.

I don't know where exactly do you need help with, but I get what you're saying more or less, I for example, in most interactions, just feel like ejecting the moment I see its not going so well.
On advice I have to give around this, is to just stick with it (a /pua/ advice actually), at least until you're certain to crash and burn.
This is not easy, and I can definitely remember around last week when I felt like I was orbiting this girl around church, and worst yet, around her family as well. Looking over I guess I was just projecting my loneliness, and overall it wasn't that weird, though I still think something they said made her mom really dislike me.
But anyway, another thing I could advice you with, join a church singing group or attempt to make those public readings, these gave a great rush and anxiety at first, but oh boy I'm glad to them, not only you fight over being the center of attraction and putting your voice out there, but you also get to be sort of known in the community.

Well the masturbation is a constant struggle. I struggle with temptation by my current gf. It sucks so much. I somewhat relapsed into low activity mode and I will resume the hard mode on the lent for sure. At least the cold showers were pushed through.
Good to hear you're doing so fine. Ex gf…well it takes time. I have- hopefully - transcended the issues with mine and I can move on. she's not coming back. Tbh she's better of without me - harsh reality. What matters now is to become a better man. Your abandoning the chapter of your life will take time. If you feel like you should do the thing with the book, do it. It may not bring her back…but you need to reopen that wound to get the putrifying flesh out of your body. If you let it like that - as I did - it will get back on you because the gangrene might develop in the place. Just as revising the wound to have clean edges, you need to sort this thing…not in the easiest way, the path of least resistance, but in a way that will make the situation clean.I might have been a better man already have I talked to her one year ago. Perhaps we'd be on our way to marry. Perhaps not. All I can say it was a fault to avoid being exposed because I just ran away from the problem.

Rather than avoiding pain, bypassing and apologizing a weakness target with all you got. It is not comfortable but it works. By strengthening your weakest point the chain becomes stronger. It makes less sense to strengthen the points of chain that are the strongest right now. Not that there is not a space for them to be developed…but the chain will break in the weakest point. This is what I learned recently. In order for me to develop I need to define the weaknesses and attack them. That will assure that the whole chain is better. In other words me being inside of my appartment, autistically reading books/doing nothing but working out will not help me right now because it is something I would do gladly. Going to read in front of the whole church is something that scares me off. Going out meeting new women/people is still a hard thing to do. Seeking a job is a hard thing to do. And that's precisely what needs to be done…apart from keeping up with the schedule of working out/reading etc already established. I hope what I write is easy to be understood.

My advice would be to tackle those bad things first of all - the ex gf issue. Do what you think is right (even leave it like that….if you think this is the right way, just do not succumb to the lower urges of backing out because it would be "unconfortable"). And work on the fap/porn issue if it still seems to be a problem.
I did this with cold showersand it worked. I realize that for some, the cold shower is an easy thing. I struggled one year for a month to do it and then I failed. For me it is a real hell. Now however I start to enjoy it because of the spiritual and physical benefits of it. This was dificult for e.
This is what Tinder does. I would not use it at all. Only low-quality hoes have tinder to hook up with guys. Low chance of you finding your wife there.
Thanks will check that out.
Can be found on Libgen, archive.org or even in the monthly issues of Zig Forums books that are on mega storage
booksdescr.org/item/index.php?md5=ECCD27E0EEE57800D51DD16E9A1F0082
Here is libgen link. I prefer the site because you may found almost anything there. By choosing "libgen" mirror there you should be able to download the book. I liked the first half a lot. The second half is kind of disappointing for me because I think it could be shorter to covey the same meaning. Also I disagree with EMJ on some issues in history….but well if one agrees 100% with somebody…something is wrong is it not.

Thanks I will do it. Choirs won't make it for me because I am not afraid to sing even if I sing alone. The same goes for dancing.
But speaking/reading in church/in front of audience often gives me hell. I will try to tackle this. I already participate in some reading but I will do more to get my anxiety out of the way.
I would not worry about it too much. perhaps it was not as bad as you think. We err mostly by presuming/overthinking things as far as women are concerned. The idea that one should just be oneself and should not care too much what women think is certainly very true. However it is easier to say, harder to actually do it. I know. But the point stays

Here is the thing though, my case is a bit different than yours, in the sense that you had broken up with your ex, hence the ball was in your court, it was your duty to be humble re-establish contact, on the other hand my ex was the one that broke up with me, so it doesn't matter if I chase after her, I think she also carries that weight and guilt, but is up to her to realize it and open up. I already even tried talking to her on what was about 1 month ago, on day of my birthday, she didn't open up then, even though it had a peaceful tone. I would also like to open up to her and give her a help hand if she wanted to connect again, but it just wouldn't work, by doing that she just wont miss me, she just wont realize what she lost. The worst thing yet, is even I miss her presence dearly, I'm coming to realize that perhaps it really wasn't that good of a match, and that I could be better off finding someone else, which I guess is not worst at all, but a good sign that I'm getting over it. Another thing is that the birthday of when started dating is coming up soon, this oughta bring some memories, my best bet is to just keep cool and get over it, the ball its in her court if she wants to come around and really misses me.

By the way, this reminds me of the book I'm currently reading about women, it a passage that describe pretty much my exact situation, of a girl behaving as a complete partner at the beginning of the relationship, only to inflict pain later on when she start misbehaving, and as a final coup, break off completely when everything was seemingly so well. I still don't quite grasp why she would ever do that (or anyone for that matter), but apparently its a why to make the greatest mark, to make me forever a passionate slave to her, to never come to terms with it. This is why having the "ball on her court" is such a bad state for us to be in, we remain in the state of uncertainty and waiting, which is the worst state for a rational man to be in, I think I talked about this in the other thread, but by inducing this duality of feelings is how they manage to drive us completely mad.

You weakest chain link analogy is also a good one, no point just working over what you're already strong in, which brings me to my next point. I've guess these are the two things I need to work on the most, control over my libido and control over my neediness for affection, since these two are the strongest things that make me weak to these women's charms, this would also resolve my feeling towards my ex, to completely kill any expectation I have left. I've guess I was working out on these weak point of my, by taking public reading and being part of the singing groups, I managed to strike two birds with one stone, to be more outspoken, more confident in public, and to also feel as part of community around me, so I don't feel as lonely anymore, and of all of that with the help of intense praying and spiritual plea. My other weakest point is also finally getting up for work, I'm kinda doing well at I think, even though I waver in motivation every now and then, my area is pretty damn hard to find an opening in, but I'm following through and hopefully soon enough something should show up.

You're that same user I've been talking to in the last few moments right? You already have a current girlfriend, weren't you doing well with her?
If it is indeed you, your english used to be better, but don't worry, maybe you're like me and sometimes when we're tired, the proper sentences don't go out at all, it happens.

you are right. I somehow did not realize that.The course of action taken by you should be suited to your situation. I wrote it simply because I made a huge revelation for myself (more of a capitain obvious one i know) that the man needs to resolve the issues of the past and also of the present. I made a huge mistake of omitting them, I worked on several points: physical fitness, purity, spiritual awakening, more hobbies, reading, socializing…..It WAS indeed necessary…but I noticed too late that I was aat the same time terribly afraid of confronting the weakest point of the chain. I talked to her after 2 years and man I was on the verge of tears 90% of time. The last time I met those two together I felt like I want to off myself. This is how deep it went. Just after going right to the wound to cut off the dead flesh I feel like I heal better. Of course…all the other work I have done counts.
In no way I try to "preach from above".Hopefuly it does not sound this way. I just felt the need to share this - perhaps an obvious, perhaps not - observation.
I cannot tell you what to do. Nobody can. You may ask your closest friend on advice about how he would go about it and then include it in your thought process. As you write…the "ball in her field" is a terrible state of mind. My ex gf really must have took hell in that state for 1 year before she met her boyfriend. For that I am ashamed. However she overcame it. For me it was also harsh but I denied it for a long time. Enough about me. You need to analyze the situation you have on your hands and either by action…or by non-action dealing with reality sort the wound out. Yeah she may come back. If that happens then you will deal with the issue.
That is my attitude to many things. My advice is just do not ignore the wound you carry because it will get back on you, you just wasting time with it. The duality of feelings is the worst it kills me even now…just to a lesser extent.
Yep those are hard hills to climb and conquer but luckily they are entwined…once you climb the libido you just go on the saddle and then climb the other one…you do not make the whole journey again. That's how it worked for me. When I will resume the praying schedule - during the lent by any means - I will mention you in the prayers so God helps you in your struggle in work and in your conquering the vices.

Yes. I am the same guy. My IPs just keep changing from time to time, so the ID shifts.
Things are…as they are. The sorting out helped me to move on. However the affection for my current gf does not seem to be coming back unfortunately so far. Meanwhile I am stuck in temptation of her body which degrades my spirit and clouds my judgement. She is a good girl. She even accepts me having "edgy opinions" on religion and politics. She knows how to cook, is patient with myself. I am unsure about the extent of our common interests. She seems to be less keen of dancing and our music style is very different. She accepts that but frankly 2 times we were out dancing…either I was upset or she was the other time. That is to say…I truly do not know and the lust has just broke me. Not to the point of masturbation though. I need to resist the temptation to touch her breasts and get back on the path towards God. The rest will sort itself. Perhaps this is all a test of fire to get me into the true ascetic mode I always wanted to do, even partially succeeded in during the last lent.
Well yeah. I am not native speaker and currently I am overloaded with work and reading. Sometimes I find myself screwing up my own language, let alone english. Paradoxically….while reading about 30 pages a day in english my english does not get better because my brain needs rest apparently.

The lent is coming. It is an opportunity to load your ascetic struggle into a small period of time and carry it out. It will help your soul and your body as well. Do not be hesitant about it. Rather choose more things and carry out some of them. It will move your self improvement to new levels.

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Quick recipe for a bread alternative you might find useful:
8 eggs
6 tablespoons of psyllium husk powder
3/4 cup of warm water
3/4 cup of coconut flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp of salt
1/2 cup of butter or coconut oil

makes one loaf, mix wet ingredients together and add them to the dry. Bake for 60 or so minutes at 350.

Filling, easy to make, low in carb.

Some things I'm trying to make into a habit

I'm a fatty so I will be doing cardio, mainly walking very long distances quickly then upgrading to jumping. I want to get into calisthenics (I refuse to do gym stuff, I'm not paying for that) but I need to lose first. So far I've lost about 15 pounds, gonna keep goin'.

That's a good recipe brother, besides the ingredient above that seems to be hard to find, is it replaceable with another substitute type flour? like rice or oats?

So I remember reading this one the other day and thought it to be very interesting (liturgical reading on the 27 of february).
I thought about making a thread asking for philosophical books and whatnot, but better to just ask this around here, either way, this can't ring any more truer. Wisdom may not be what you want, may be a double edge sword, but its definitely worth it once you get it.

< Sirach 4

Isn't it wonderful? Doesn't it speak with full for those of us who are always seeking to improve ourselves and specifically improve from within.
With regards with progress, I've been on quite a rut, lazying around and feeling sorry for myself most of the time, took this chance to eat a lot of crap, so I can dive in head on this lent with the full intent to pursue my goals and abstain from that which slows me down.
Already have a couple of books to start reading this next week, something to study for, and exercise to keep up. However I still would like to read something more on philosophy, specially some ancient greek really bring up my interest, if anyone can share, it will be welcomed.

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I've effectively quit porn. The next step is getting in shape. I've realized I am illiterate with this stuff. Does anyone have suggestions on resources to read? My goal is dropping fifty pounds and gaining muscle

and then go on keto, but try to go light on the fat meme, it can and will screw up your heart if you hit the bacon too hard. you can easily just use chicken and almonds to get you through the keto requirements for a good 2-3 months

after that, start looking at a workout plan. for newbies, you can a 3x a week full body workout, either at the gym, or at the home depending on what your social temperate is

oh, and after keto for 2-3 months, ease your body back into a healthy diet (i recommend paleo), at a certain point you will need the carbs back into your diet for good energized workouts

yes, you can gain muscle on keto, but it's not really worth it

I feel like right now I am standing up to my biggest fears and the most inconvenient parts of my spirit. I feel like a complete loser most of the time but hopefully it will lead to better tomorrow. I mean….if I do not hold on to that hope I will probably be just more miserable. If I can push through the next 4 months or so I could be find after all.

(triple checks)
Don't fall for the Keto meme, if anything,try intermittent fasting, which actually fits pretty well with the lent period.
You shouldn't ever drop carbs, and that is, healthy vegetables, they extremely necessary to keep your energy and nutrition up, specially during caloric deficit periods.
But if you're gonna drop anything, drop wheat and related products, not that the carb itself is bad, but modern wheat has whole new set of problems, including increasing appetite and brain fogginess.


I'm more or less on the same boat, going through what I could say its one of the hardest times of my life, facing my biggest fears and issues, facing what I really want to do with my life and if will have the guts to do it.
This really does have a lot to do with lent and what I've been going through, but I guess it also has to do with this thread, also just posted on the relationships thread too if you to check on more.

It is quite remarkable isn't it? I feel splendid - so many boundaries pushed about me…the weakest points. But it also means I feel drained both physically and spiritually. Also the lent is going worse than I had planned(but my plans were very larpy,so that;s it)
This is just part of me finally growing up…so I intend to embrace everything about those next few months.

Just push through and everything will be better.

Just push through

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I advocate Keto has a temporary measure, not as a permanent diet.

You also have to be careful which fats you eat as well. Eat nothing but bacon and your body is going to hate you.

If by keto, you mean ketogenesis, it should be induced in regular periods of fasting.
But I get a feeling your trying to say paleo, just cutting carbs or something of the like. Which is indeed a meme.
And any sort of caloric deficit diet is not permanent obviously

Keto is not NO vegetables, or NO CARBS, it is LOW CARBS. I have been doing Keto for about 2 years and I eat a lot of Broccoli and Spinach, also strawberries. You can't stuff your face each day on these while doing Keto, sure, but you can still have them. I also love Cauliflower (See into making Cauliflower rice it is AMAZING).

I lost 50 lbs on Keto and I don't even count calories.

This. It is impossible to be a man in today's society without lifting, too much xenoestrogens.

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Or you could just get a manual labour side job. The monks are very strong without any gym equipment etc.

no, I mean keto in the "stay in ketosis".

there's a thing call "fat adaptation", where your body learns to process fat alongside carbs as a source of energy, many people have said going back onto a normal healthy diet has had many positive benefits

checking in. Considering the stress and the work that is before me I will still have the nasty three months. For few weeks I have felt like the uphill part of the battle is over and we're heading downhill. I found the confidence in myself I have never had and I seem to be able to navigate myself IRL better. Overall things are looking good right now but formally the biggest struggle is ahead of me. It does not seem so right now though. I am unexpectedly overly optimistic about future.

I've come to terms with my gayness. It's ok to be gay!

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MMMOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSS HELP

Bump

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It's been a while. Still overloaded with work but I am no longer defeatist or pessimistic since the hardest part is going to be over soon…hiopefully. God has awarded me with quite a few successes in work and relationships…so now I have even greater motivation for self improvement. I no longer feel the urge to fap. Anything slightly pornographic disgusts me. Months ago I was vulnerable when it came to suggestive pics on 4chan. Nowadays I just think what would my girl say if she knew I drool over some thot pic on 4chan. Let alone jerk off to it. What would my grandparents say to me? Surely they would roll in their graves for me straying from the right path after God provided me with all the information he did to make me free from lust and dangers of degenerate modern world.

I do not know if I make it one day to heaven. I hope so. There was this kid literally dead in hospital for half an hour and he told he had vision of heaven….Christ with a crowd of beautiful persons telling him his time has not come yet. This really got me thinking that I do not do everything in my power to be as close to Christ as I can.
Even analyzing my motivation for self improvement…it was too earthly.
Of course those are important…but not as important as the transcendent goals. Even marriage is a path towards God, not a way of satisfying one's sexual desires. For a long time I had a distorted view of everything. Right now I am beginning to see the world through a new lens…

As one wise man said: The ultimate goal is not life but resurrection.

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6 hours of sleep isnt healthy, you should get at least 8 hours

Hello fellow brethren.
I'm checking in from a long time, I have I'm feeling much better overall, even though essentially most of things are still the same. but for one I've guess I've really reduce the amount of crap time spent online, thus its seems like a heck long time since I've lasted posted here, though I still check for replies on occasion.
Also worth noting that I may had some help with that, the power supply on my main computer is crapping out, so I'm avoiding using it as much as possible, and as a result, I practically don't browser pointless stuff anymore, only when I really to look for something. Also worth noting, that I still do consume quite a lot of pointless youtube media, but I consider this meanwhile, as a sort of downtime.

But as I said before, honestly there doesn't seem to be much progress yet. I haven't found gainful employment, but spend most of my time working on jewelry artisan crafts, its going well but I still am to see some gainful return from this, so I'm not really sure yet whether this is just being a pointless waste of time yet again, or a rough but right start of a profession.

Regarding personal matters, still luck as well, but I'll leave this rant to the relationships thread.

To update, I stuck to NoFaP for about 2.5 months, then caved and haven't had much success since. Really disappointed in myself.
Did the better nutrition/exercising thing very briefly.

Hey. Good to hear from you again. Are you ?
Limiting online time is great. well done. I have not been posting lately here too. If you are still going with the SIG level you had back then then it is actually good. Do not let what you perceive as stagnation hold you down. Eventually the siege is broken.

Yep I am that user, funny to read something I wrote three months back, it seems so far away, yet so close like it was yesterday, lent went flying by, and thinking about it back I remember how bad I felt, and how deep I was hurt.
In this regard I feel like I'm finally over it and ready to move on, unfortunately I have to say I switched from being understanding to being bitter about it, today after looking back at some stuff I just went ahead and erased her contact. Its not that I don't want to forgive her, I do, but I just feel awfully bitter for the pain that she put me through, and the worst thing, made me feel like it was my fault in the worst possible way. So no I don't really want to go back, but instead I just hope put down this baggage and have a fair trial on my next relationship.

On a few other subjects, I feel like over my PMO addiction, I did one last fap last weekend, but porn each day has less of a grapple on me. Also worth noting that you shouldn't really be expanding so much time over here, I remember one of the reasons for me rarely visiting, was the apparent influx of larpers and blatant shitposters. But the point is, this place is always like this, and you should spent minimal time bothering yourself with it (but of course its also a great place to talk like we do). After spending so little time around here I decided to become more involved with the real people around me, including church folk, then something marvelous started happening, people started listening. This week on the men's rosary group, they asked me to comment about the gospel, and today one of the members invited me for his birthday with his family (older gentleman), I spent a good whole minute like an idiot thinking if I was going to intrude or not, I kinda feel bad for rejecting but it would be quite nice to share and know them better.

Wow, I just realized what a wall of text this was, anyway I just wanted to complement on my last post, afterall this is a self-improvement thread.
What does that mean? But yeah, I just need to keep going and hopefully something will give in.
Like I've said in the other thread, I want to ask this girl out but I'm being a pussy about it. And I even waved a lot in how restrict I was being about my faith (avoiding masses, skipping meditation)(and no surprise, these were the times where I relapsed hard).
So in summary, keep my goal in mind, keep faith in my heart, and keep praying for the Lord's support. I will try to sell my stuff tomorrow, so wish me luck.

Good to hear that you seem to have moved on…erasing her contact is a good sign. The bitterness is probably a temporary step towards moving on completely. The PMO success is great too.
The shitposters…I think there's no need to comment on that. I got tired by this site since it just rose my blood pressure. I do not want to be mean but the amount of larping is enormous. Everyone knows everything the best, calls almost anything a sin, even the most ridiculous things. Yet purity thread tells the other story, as well as this thread and similar ones. Really it got me so sick, especially after Notre Dame burning threads, I just had to plug off. unironically even Zig Forums was less venomous for me at that time.Strange.
Well if he invited you why would you intrude? It is nice of them.
Self improvement. You seemed doing really good with all the church attendance, working out and overcoming yourself. If you keep the momentum the results are bound to come.
Well good luck with the asking out the girl.

Nah, to be honest it all comes and goes, there were even times where I felt my faith being shaken and not wanting to go to church to often, doubts and fear begin to arise. I'm trying to work out regularly but I actually feel pretty week most of the time, and biggest culprit I think is the smoking, which disturbs with my breathing, meditation and more. I know I'll have to tackle this soon, but afraid as of right only escape I have.

Oh dear, don't remind me about it, check the other thread.