Am I being too picky?

Really? that's the argument you're making?
Also, how is a smug prideful rant like that supposed to be help things at all? Judgemental people like you are the reason so many are looking for alternatives in the first place. For every legitimately cringy "OrthoLARPer" I've ever encountered, I've seen literally hundreds of sour whinny hyperbolic comments like yours, making your entire premise rather difficult to believe in the first place.

I give a solid 90% chance OP disappoints everyone and himself by begoming brodesdand.

Allowing priests to marry isn't degenerate, user. That very interpretation is a modern invention from the West. If you're asking for stricter standards from your priests than Jesus asked from his apostles themselves, you should probably reconsider your positions and learn what modernism is actually about:
oodegr.com/english/filosofia/nihilism_root_modern_age.htm
orthodoxinfo.com/inquirers/inq_western.aspx
orthodoxinfo.com/inquirers/inq_rc.aspx

I'm in the same boat as op but I'm too different from brodesdands for them to accept me. I believe in praying to saints and angels, pagan rituals are fine, and the KJV Bible isn't infallible. However, I also believe some CI stuff and antimiscegenation but most of those types of preachers are turboprots. So Idk where I fit.

This is correct and is the harsh truth people, especially internet converts to any denom need to hear.

However

I agree in this context but it stuck out to me. What about christians in non-christian lands who have no possible way of ever interacting with christians outside of the internet.

I think the internet can be and is a great community if you try

I only pray we end the Great Schisms of 1054 and Chalcedon soon so that there will be no need for us to swap around anymore, and scream "my Church is better than your Church!" We of the Apostolic Churches are all Schismatics, and may God help us.
I myself have witnessed the dual communion between Copts and Eastern Orthodox in several Churches I have attended, and Maronite/Melkite Catholics and Syriac Orthodox communing with each other as well in Lebanon.
Recommuning must start with us, the laypeople. Schisming yourself from your own Church will only cause more problems Beloved.

Attached: Unite 2.jpg (1709x1152, 293.04K)

I see many people falling into the pattern of what I call "chasing the trad dragon." it's good to desire tradition and community, but you can't just be looking for some golden utopia that has somehow remained untouched by time where everyone wears robes and capes and fancy hats and all think that there are witches in the forest and planes are really demons flying around and shit. You don't need to speak Latin, you need god, and god says to be in communion with his church and to get rid of people who go against church teachings, even if they are well meaning anti modernists. Stop trying to LARP as a medieval present when you can't even go without your smartphone for a day.

So those are the secrets to expelling the jews.

American Orthodox convert here, I have chosen Eastern Orthodoxy because it has spoke with my soul more than any other christian branches, I fell in love and took action on it. I do love Catholicism, but I just feel more at peace with Orthodoxy. If I was to choose a branch based on my blood, I would be either Anglican or Mormon, not a chance i'm doing that.

My spiritual father has specifically warned me and told me not to browse Eastern Orthodox communities without caution, or christian in general, not at least without discretion. I was confused by this, but after being in multiple groups, I can now see. Your image pretty much sums it up, there's this gathering of obnoxious "if you question Jay Dyer or Monarchy, you're an american shill and will be sodomized for eternity in the Toll-houses" groups that make a lot of people cringe. Of course, there's also the fact that you're prone to misinformation on the web and other crap, but there's groups that lead others away from the church. I'm only here because I wanted to ask something on this board.

And unless the only Orthodox church in your area is some ethnocentric group or boomer-tier parish, then don't feel ashamed in visiting if it feels like God is calling you. Ignore the crap about MUH YOU'RE NOT EASTERN EUROPEAAN. If white-ass city dwelling fruity granola bags in our society can practice new-age meditation, buddhism, charka, yoga, and other forms of far-eastern garbage, then it should be ok for someone to go into a more eccentric form of Christianity. Hell, there's been saints who were samurai converts, Chilean, and Native Americans.

But overall, I recommend you just visit parishes, speak with priests, and pray. Also, try a western rite parish if by some miracle you're by one. I pray everything goes good with you OP, whatever you do.