Why is everyone asking me to install gentoo?

lol yeah OP listen to this guy

That show isn't for little girls though.

Clever reasoning.

Profiles make setting up USE flags easy (btw, did you know that on Funtoo you can have multiple profiles? see funtoo.org/Funtoo_Profiles)

None of the above points gets fulfilled with Ubumtoo.

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What about Exherbo? It comes with a written in C portage compatible package manager.

Exherbo seems like another meme distro. I would just use Gentoo with paludis (the package manager that's also used in Exherbo), if you don't want to use portage.
see, wiki.gentoo.org/wiki/Paludis
and wiki.gentoo.org/wiki/Paludis/Guide

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This best be bait

This is how you spot newfags.

Looks like someone hasn't dealt with Perl. Of course, you can prevent it from happening by using perl-cleaner after every emerge.

Based and redpilled.