No identity

As an average white male working in the service industry I lack an identity. I feel like I should become part of any community that makes my existence seem more meaningful. I am not unhappy but I am directionless.

I used to be part of a cult as a kid. My life was far more meaningful when I believed extreme fundamentalist dogmas.

I wish I could go back but I canā€™t unsee the scientific facts.

Now Iā€™m tempted to try being trans or even alt right if it gave me a close knit community.

Iā€™m about to get married donā€™t get me wrong. And about to get a good degree in December. My life is great.

But I lack definition and meaning as a white male. Itā€™s a meaningless identity unless youā€™re a bro - and Iā€™m not, Iā€™m a political junkie. I tried Communism but itā€™s dead šŸ’€ so what else can I join? I want camaraderie and a place in a hierarchy.

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Bowling club?

Not grandiose enough. Iā€™m all for living in a commune.

Identity is bullshit, you need community.

Iā€™ll take it, I just donā€™t know where itā€™s at

You seem really desperate.
I will give you a serious advice and take you seriously.
First the way you started your post and the continue references to your whiteness makes me think you're looking for identity in a wrong place.
Your race is meaningless, white is meaningless. Like literally. In europe we don't have this concept of whitness you have over there. There are french, germans ecc. And they have their cities, their home, their families and their football teams. The idea of a pan white identity It's retarded. You should stop looking into it.
As for the quest for identity and yourself, it's an age old question in a capitalist society and even before. You are alienated like many people.
The community won't make your identity, you should look in yourself.
No commune bullshit, no political shit. That is just another road to desperation.
Find your identity in something that gives you trills (stealing, traveling whatever dsngerous or not) just remeber.
You are not the only one.
There are many many people in your position.

Basically, you are not alone. Even if you feel like it.

>as a white male
1. Drop this white male bullshit.
2. If you find no meaning as a revolutionary go be religious.

My society firmly believes Iā€™m a white male. So it might as well be real.

Yeah I need a change. Iā€™m just afraid of landing in prison. I donā€™t want to go rogue.

Good advice. I wish America would listen.

I just wish I was needed for something. Iā€™m trying to have a baby with my fiancĆ©e as soon as sheā€™ll have one so Iā€™m kept busy with stress and forget my existential anxiety

Nice spooks. But if you want to cling to this go ahead and at least use the white male tag to be happy.
Then do what white males do and be religious.

Are you Niezchean?

I am trying religion but I donā€™t believe it which is harmful. I think I donā€™t understand reality as it is but donā€™t know whatā€™s really out there.

I feel humans are caught like ants šŸœ in an ant farm, and weā€™ve gotten too smart for our own good so that now some of us realize it and get our existence poisoned.

Dude while I'm happy that you have a nearly wife, you really really shouldn't have a baby right now. Not for the reason of taking your mind off.
It will fuck you up for good and probably hurt the baby and wife too.
Ever thought of doing some humanitarian help if you are scared of going rogue? What are you good at? Do you have passions or something like that?

I think this is a selfish attitude tbh

Though an understandable one in an atomized, capitalist society.

Look at the people around you who you care about. Maybe your fiance? Your family members? Think about ways you can help them. You only have a limited amount of time on this earth to spend with these people. My belief in socialism is more of an extension of that almost-Christian kind of philosophy though I don't practice it as much as I should.

I also think identity is a spook. If you wander out in the woods by yourself and sit by a pond and stare at it, what use is your identity at that point? This identity stuff is b.s. we tell ourselves.

My fiancĆ©e wonā€™t agree to have kids yet so no worries. I partially believe the social Darwinism stuff about needing to have kids to have my genes survive. Although looks like AI will kill us and leave that pointless. Still though I donā€™t want to let the other guys cuck me by me letting them out reproduce me. I donā€™t believe Iā€™m going to win survival of the fittest but at least I donā€™t want to totally lose by being childless.

Honestly I just want to have a useful function in society and Iā€™m afraid Iā€™m a useless drone.

Yes you are right. Good point. I think about identity because I have too much time on my hands.

Maybe once I have a real career Iā€™ll just feel better automatically

You sound really depresses my man.
It's normal btw. Don't think a career will fix this tho (even if you are a hot shot ceo, remeber that the action of a capitalist are obsessive and compulsory. Giving away yourlife and distracting yourself in favour of money).
Do you travel often my man? You should take a few weeks for yourself, traveling a bit may be good to make you think and realize thing. Get outside of america, go to paris for example alone. No plans, just hotel and money. Changing your sorroundings, feeling lost and stranger maybe really what you need to find yourself and your direction

just fucking die

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2. you can reply to others by clicking on the post number, e.g. No.2623739.
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Become gay and date a black man
Then you will find your true identity

You want to pump your body full of hormones and mutilate your penis so you can belong?

This is America.

Probably.
Buddhism yo. Religion as a lifestyle.
There is nothing out there until you decide there is.
We are not the issue. It is the ant farm.
We shouldn't accept existence as it is and dumb ourselves down to live in the ant farm, we must break the ant farm.
Live in the ant farm? We die.
Fail to break the ant farm? We die.
Break the ant farm? An entire universe at our fingertips.

Reminder: only you matter.
Who are you sure exists? You.
What is the vessel your spirit uses to shape reality? Your mortal body.
How do you see reality? Through your own eyes with your own brain.
For whom do you take all your actions? Yourself.

BECOME THE UBERMENSCH! THE HIGHER STAGE OF MAN AWAITS YOU!

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Mhm, "go be religious"ā€¦
An interesting way to spell "kys"

You tie yourself too much to that which would sap you of spirit.
You wish to bring life into a world that had caused you to be in the state you are now? You and your genes deserve a better world.
All shall pass. Even the AI. So it's best to make what we do have the best damn life.
Let others be brought low by failing to provide a better world for their offspring so cruely created. Being "out reproduced" is an idiotic notion. You will ALWAYS be out reproduced.
LIVE FOR YOURSELF! OUR SOCIETY WISHES FOR YOU TO BE A DRONE! A USEFUL PLACE IN OUR SOCIETY IS NOTHING MORE THAN BEING A SLAVE!
Your function is caring and providing for yourself and those you love. You owe NOTHING to the bloodsuckers who for so long have smashed your soul.
Do not cast a sheet over your eyes and call it a solution. A distraction from pain will not heal the wound.
True fulfillment is filling the void within. Embrace yourself and your individuality.

I think that it is very clear that some occupations have much greater social utility than others and it is understandable that people would seek those out. Even if the two paid the same, I think more people would want to be nurses than maids.