As leftists, how do you deal with social isolation and loneliness? I'm terrible at making and keeping friends, and invariably find myself (autistically screeching) and pushing people away who I want to be friends with. I've found myself isolated and without likeminded comrades, except for those who are online, and most of them don't really like me that much. The obvious answer would be to stop being a weirdo, however as I'm sure people are aware that's easier said than done. I'm so tired of seeing other groups of people who are comrades, regularly hanging out and doing things that friends do. Meanwhile I seemingly always find myself in the position of the Other. I'm committed in my political views, but when one finds themselves isolated and without like-minded friends, it's difficult to have your spirits remain high.
Loneliness
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Alcohol
Talking to my Lenin tulpa
I don't know. I don't have any friends and never had any intimate relationships. I feel very lonely and depressed. I've tried a bunch of things from prescription meds to psychoactive drugs to exercising to socializing, but nothing works. I just want friends and to be normal.
Alcoholism honestly creates far more problems than it solves. It's a depressant, and though it can sometimes help in the immediate here and now with bad feelings, it contributes to a worsening psychological state beyond that.
by spending my weekends on chaturbate/watching porn etc
It's unhealthy as fuck and all of my other hobbies have taken a back seat but the only time I don't feel hopelessly alone and terrible is when I'm beating off. Somewhere along the way my brain put loneliness and sexuality together and I've been fucked ever since
I try to go out as often as possible with people I enjoy hanging out with. I have noone who agrees with me politically, but life is more than politics, stop believing yourself to be the mystical professional revolutionary, take a break from all the online stuff for a while, go hang out with your one or two friends and just have some drinks in a bar and talk shit.
checked
i dont really suffer from loneliness, although sometimes i wish i had more close personal relationships. but i've found in life that very few people are even worth being around since their own stupidity makes them more of a cost than an asset. working on projects and keeping my mind occupied gives me a sense of purpose.
You've been taking the wrong drugs.
I suggest you eat psilocibe weilii and take a dose or two of lsd and dmt and wash the bad taste out of your mouth with some ayahuasca.
These are all safe psychedelic drugs.
this except unironically. I went for Durruti.
Try semen retention, sexual transmutation and yoga. It works.
psychedelic drugs worked for me for a degree of introspection, however they're not for everyone. Particularly if you combine them with social isolation, it can help you reach some bad conclusions
Rope, cope or dope comrade.
you know what to do…
Jordan Peterson is a stupid dickhead.
Leftypol anons 12 step guide to stop being a depressed cunt, by a formerly depressed cunt, without all the weird right wing conservative shit:
1. Stop being on your PC all the time, or your phone. Throw all your games of your phone while youre at it, you dont need to shitpost on discord, watch cat videos or play candy crush when youre out of the house, you do that too often already. If you're out of the house, try to disconnect from the internet. The world is not your burden to carry 24/7, you need time to just walk outside without being pulled back into all this shit like a tenticle monster grabbing an anime girl. Just turn off your PC, put your phone in a corner, turn your phone to silent and read a book or practice a hobby (see point 10).
2. Proactively ask people if they wanna hang out. Then hang out. You really need to instigate it. Ask every day or every other day, when you have time. Don't be afraid to ask, the worst they can say is no.
3. Just go drink at a bar and/or play some snooker, no need for something fancy. Just a place where you can hang out and talk about nothing. There is no need to do something particular, just hanging around is socializing too, and very good for your mental health and social skills.
4. If people invite you to hang out, go hang out even if your anxiety is telling you not to. Don't be afraid of new people, if they are cunts you only have to see them once. Don't excuse it by saying "oh im an introvert". You might not be an introvert, you might just have some form of tism, have anxiety or have adhd which makes you overly sensitive to noise. Try hanging out, you will feel better, and if you feel like shit when you are home alone again the next day, your probably not an introvert. And even if you are an introvert, you still crave social interactions in small groups. Feel free to avoid clubs or large social gatherings, just hang out with a small select group of people instead. You will feel much better for it.
5. Throw away all the clutter in your living area. Make it a habit to try to keep your living space close to spotless. Don't just "clean your room", look at every item in your living area and ask yourself if you really need it. Immediately clean everything you just dirtied, throw away all trash you just made. A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind, and will only shorten your already short attention span.
6. Regular good personal hygiene helps you feel better. Shave every morning, shower every morning (but dont do full soap every day, it kills your skin and hair, shampoo your hair like once every few days, otherwise just waterwash it). If you have facial hair, trim it at least once every 3 days, just cut off small hairs that stick out. You must do everything to look at clean as you can, it really does help you feel presentable, it will vastly reduce the feeling of "why would anyone want to hang out with me im a slob". If you have hair products or long hair, carry some of it or carry a small hairbrush so you can redo your hair if it sits ill. Use deodorant but not too much, also, it isnt a substitute for a shower, hence shower every day. Showering also gets rid of that nasty shit toilet paper wont get out of your asshair, which feels and smells much better when its gone.
7. Buy clothes that look good and not too gloomy, some simple light coloured tshits and jeans are always good. Dont try to hide in your clothes, your clothes both project an image and influence how you act. Dress positively.
8. Make sure to wear clean clothes. Just like the hygiene, nothing will shatter your fragile self image like thinking you stink, or thinking your hair looks messy or unkept. Just buy some extra shirts, buy identical ones if you cant find good ones, just so you can change them. If you think "this shirt is getting dirty" youre already too late.
9. Be nice to people, animals and the environment. Try to be the best possible version of yourself. Look at the actions and acts you did that day and reflect on them. Think about the times you lashed out against people, reflect on if you want to be that person, and change your behaviour accordingly. Think about the shit your parents did that you hated, and reflect on how you exhibit the same behaviours, then make a conscious effort not to do them. Reflect on the times you did not help someone who could have been helped. If you arent in financial trouble, could you have helped that homeless person by giving him some change? Reflect on the imperfections you saw on the street that day. Was there a can on the floor near a trashbin? Why didnt you pick it up and throw it away? Small improvements to society add up and make you feel like a good and responsible member of society.
10. Find a skill you can get better at that isnt a job. Pick up juggling, start drawing, learn to play an instrument, learn a new language. On the days and times which you would normally spend refreshing leftypol, watching youtube videos or refreshing twitter, do that instead. The sense of progression and accomplishments you will get will be a massive egoboost and make you feel very fulfilled. It can be learning small skills, like juggling 3 balls, card tricks, stacking dice, or a long term hobby, such as drawing or learning a language. For example, if you watch anime, learning some japanese will yield you some very high statisfaction when you start to understand certain phrases or sentences. Learning a language connected to something you already enjoy will make it much easier and enjoyable.
11. Don't compare yourself to others. If there is one sure way to feel like a sack of shit it is to compare yourself to others. You will only hear the positive things from others, and in your head an image will form of people only being happy and doing fun things all the time. Focus on you, don't listen to red pill shit, don't listen to pick up artists or people who say you're a failure because you dont do x or y, dont listen to incel fearmongering and hatred, dont listen to misandrist bs either. Remove all your contact with that shit, block people who say that shit, avoid it like the plague. One bad trip into incelistan can undo weeks of building up hope and confidence.
12. Stop jacking off all the time. Try to limit yourself to once every 2 days, if not less. Jacking off every day, during the day, or more often, saps your will to do anything and makes you complacent.
Forgot to add:
Also shave and stuff even if you dont plan to go out. It will make you feel clean and good and ready for a new day, as well as allowing you to quickly leave in case you get an invite somewhere.
Nigguh, I'm not, and I was never a so called "leftist", ffs. I'm a fucking commie. I've been here from day fukken 1: I'm the typical enemy of the bourg. state.
KEK
WHAT ABOUT NOT OWNING THE MOP, THO?!?!
Reading your post gave me the feeling of really not wanting to do all that shit and I'm just left disgusted and even more depressed. Thanks.
Just do it gaylord. It doesnt take that much effort. You have 3 tennisballs? You can now learn to juggle, have fun. You have a razor? Shave, mate.
OK I'm gonna "shave" my wrists like hell.
Ok dont let me stop you.
reminds me of this story artofwar.ru
Holy shit this. It's crazy how motivated I am sometimes, and as soon as I jack off and cum it's like "ehhhhh." I'm working on getting in better shape, and when I jack off, every time I "cheated" during the week immediately hits like a million bricks and I hate myself for failing like that and get depressed.
Put down Capital and read the boomer-tier classic: how to win friends and influence people. Lots of the examples he uses are about how to make sales and be successful in business, which I’m sure you’ll love to hear about, but if you follow the general rules and learn how to outwardly lighten up and have fun in social situations (while still maintaining an inner seriousness about your passions and intellectual
Pursuits) your life will be a lot better.
Also lift and stop fapping
Playing death/black/doom metal is what I do honestly, its a good outlet for negative emotions, also such negative feelings provide me with inspiration for my music in turn. Not sure if I feel exactly the same as you since I actually dislike people don't feel the need to make more friends than I already have. You may not actually like people that much either, but feel you need friends to conform with social expectations, so you should ponder on that a bit
Reasonably good advice.
That is something that is fucking impossible to do. My happiness cannot be made by me, eventually someone else has to say yes (this can be a job, a gf, a bf, etc.) I can think all the flowery bullshit about myself I want it doesn't change anything until something actually fucking changes.
Read a book.
Seriously, reading books is good for your mental health, especially serious books because they give you a sense of clarity and accomplishment. Using social media is proven to make you depressed and ADHD.
Wtf? Life IS politics. What type of petty-booj cumsucker are you?
Americans are boring as shit anyway. They won't shut the fuck up about sports.
Nofap is about ending addictive and compulsive behaviour mainly. The testosterone levels are a broscience.
If you dont have some major personality disorder like avoidant personality, you have a strong shot of living life. Live the life that you want and dont apologize for it, but do fill up your life with tgat which is fulfilling. Video games are great, but vidya together with a friend is better. I use tgat as an example, you certainly can enjoy alone time.
Yeah, I have AVPD. Shit sucks, but your problems is that you need to push yourself. If you are depressed, see a doctor. Anti depressants or anti anxiety raises your Hamilton Scale by 7 points. Workers that are alienated (everyone, or nearly if you are petty bourg doing something you love) lose much from the scale. In the inverse applies to those in worker coops. Feeling connected to others is important even when you dont see entirely eye to eye. Even so, find fellow commies because feeling like there are those that get it helps.
Hamilton Scale, btw, measures overall happiness. A score of 0 means you are suicidal. 72 means your brain us orgasming with happiness/contentendedness.
Does therapy help with anxiety ?
Years of bullying and mistrust have made me lonely and i'd like to get out more but my brain spergs out and puts me on the defensive around people and i shut down.
don't stop being weird, it might be even something charming as long as you don't spaghetti all over the floor
you worry too much about what others might think about you
just be open about how you feel when you need company or distance, good people are cool with that and welcome you being honest with your feelings
of course, all in digestable doses, it'd be awkward if you just started crying "i wanna go home, my feet hurt, the music is too loud"
and most of socialization is practice, and practice means experiencing failure and learning from it
so stop giving a fuck, go out and embarrass yourself a little
it's liberating
Thanks m8
Yes, it helps, but you must apply effort and follow their advice. They do a good job revealing that which you arent aware of. For example, if someone holds a delusional belief, no matter how hard that one with the belief struggles, they may never discover it. It takes someone else to point it out. The difference with a therapist is experience and knowledge. Many have spoken to people face to face for hundreds of hours with the direct goal of focusing on how to reveal oneself to oneself and what to do to fix it.
Like I said, unless you have some severe condition, your chances are pretty high. It just takes doing your soul searching homework with the guidance of an expert.
Your brain rewired yourself to learn to fear people. That just reinforces itself to a point where just being around others makes this physiological reaction of fear and anxiety. When one is anxious, they cant think clearly, or 'sperg out' like you say. That only ends up reinforcing certain beliefs about yourself. You sperg out then feel embarrassed then you begin to get into the habit of getting anxious and you get anxious because you fear being embarrased.
My therapist pretty much told me that I probably would always feel this way, and that effort makes it less as bad.
But for the majority in your situation, its merely a matter of altering habits and much of these you may not be aware of.
Find whatever contrary evidence/arguments you want. It has helped a lot of people, myself included. Even if it only works as a placebo, what does OP have to lose by not fapping for a week or two, or a month?
Thanks for the advice user. I can afford getting one so i might aswell try but like you said my brain is wired to not trust people not even experts that could and would help me.
you should probably go for group sessions of cognitive behavioral therapy
fuck you all I love being a mental retard I abuse my mental illness and use it as creative fuel. if you're normal you just can't feel most of the feels.
best you can hope for is being a functional enough retard, but you'll never stop being one
Most of the sessions where i live are one on one. But i am thinking of booking a time since i want help with this shit and not having to rely on medication to get through a simple meet and greet.
how can you guys afford therapy? or have the time for it?
Neet and living in country that offers it 4free for jobless people. Also i did work for a few years so i'm not 100 % dirt poor.
neetbux and free health care
i hate living in america
it's not all for free and my mom had to throw some money my way for a while but yeah, it really must suck to be american
would probably just have killed myself long ago if i lived there
...
i wish i lived in europe
basically over here you need an exorbitant amount of money for therapy so you have to get a job
but you're mentally ill so it's hard to get a job and do well at it
but let's say you get one
then you spend all your time working to save up for any help you can get
which comes at the expense of your mental health
and of course you never make enough to actual afford any therapy but it's always a pipedream
and even if you get the money then you have no time for therapy because of the work you have
A few american friends i have online are depressed. Now i can see why.
exactly that shit
now imagine your worst struggle is having to find a therapist and having to merely pay travelling expenses
and since this year you can even apply for your insurance to pay even that when it's for regular psychotherapist meetings
and even for medication you pay only a very small share
if your medical costs in total over a year exceed 10 € a month and you're unemployed you again just fill out a form and the insurance has to pay up anything above that
That is not what that means. Not comparing yourself to others is not thinking "that guy goes on holiday to cool places and that guy got laid last night and that guy is good at art". Focus on you, what you can do, how nice you are, people will appreciate you. Don't compare yourself to Chad McSuperartist, the vast majority of people are perfectly average with no real talents and they can all get a job or gf or have friends. That is what I mean with don't compare yourself to others, because there will always be someone better than you, and it will just make you feel like shit. You don't need to have a killer job, a hot gf, get laid every night and paint like van Gogh to be happy.
Are you my fat fuck commie friend on the east coast?
I know that feel. My social skills aren't that bad, but I always find myself pushing away potential friends and hookups/love interests. I go to a school which is well known for being very outgoing and social (UNC) so I feel even worse about it. Perhaps it's a sense of anxiety or maybe it's depression; I haven't really sought help or talked to anyone about it.
I do have a few friends but I am not always good at keeping in contact with them. When I'm not studying or working, I'm mostly working out, reading, writing, working with the local antifa group, or cooking.
if you can get help for any psychiatric problem you may be having, get it. i know state schools usually have free therapy-type programs. if you are feeling depressed i would definitely recommend those. i suffered depression when i was in college at a similar large very social state school and eventually it got so bad that i had to drop out.
Hey man, I'll be friends with anyone who'll be friends with me. All the politics shit is just larping at the end of the day, we all know 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧who🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 decides what happens in this world. Lighten up.
Here here!
I am 20 years old for the past 4 years since the age of 16 I have been extremely depressed. I dropeed out of school and have done literally nothing with my life for the last 4 years I do not remember for example my 18 year appsolutely nothing. I was fatigued and permanently exhausted , I had a thick mental fog so I was not abel to concentrate. I couldn't read books and watching movies as it was to taxing for me. I was shut away in my room and coudn't talked to anyone not even my parents as I was to scared and ashamed. A normal day would consist of me browsing the internet and whishing to die in my room. I have not talked to anyone physically except my parents for the last 4 years. I have not been anywere I coundn't reach in walking disntence. I have been robbed of my late tennage years and life experiences.
You poor bugger.
If you have any friends at all, just make plans to hang out with them as much as you can. Even if you don't think you're that great of friends, do it anyway. And don't get too down if people cancel, just try to hang out with other people if you can, and reschedule with the person who canceled.
When it comes to making friends, you have to talk to new people. There are many ways to do this, and as others itt have said, alcohol helps if you are in a social setting. But the point isn't to drink yourself to the point where you start getting depressed or black out. Just enough that you lose some reservations and are more open to conversation. If you got a buzz and are merry, no need to go further than that. Same with any other substance really.
With the talking part itself, it doesn't really matter what it is as long as both of you can talk about for at least a few minutes. You can just start by asking basic questions like what their name is, where they're from, what do they do for work, what do they do for fun, etc. If it seems like they are talkative, then let them talk and listen, and maybe every now and again if you hear anything you can relate to, let them know. If they aren't talkative, then it's on you to make conversation.
And if you just feel lonely and isolate in general, see a therapist to have someone else to talk it out to, if you can go to a therapist.
Get your parents to get you into therapy
You need therapy bruh. After you regain some confidence you should look into either taking up part time work or going back to school (but not a full load take it a few courses or even one course at a time). It's hard but the situation will only improve if you take those first tentative steps out.
Fuck off with that noise.
I used to go out. Almost went into town tonight, but I walked back part way. Overdressed.
It gets worse, you know. You have to really go for it. Even if you don't want it, it'll help you in the long run. Just get out and be around other people, it doesn't take much. But I've been staying in a lot, yeah, and first I saved money by walking and then I went out less cuz it's such a long walk, and now the bus no longer runs on my street so I couldn't waste that money if I wanted to. When you live like this, you just get old. Your ideas waste. There's a good W.E.B Dubois quote about it, how one has to do unpleasant things for the benefit of their soul.
That applies to all things - when you find yourself alone, feeling alienated from the basic state of humanity, you simply have to find a way in. Really you're no more strange than anyone else - the hard part is forgetting this, especially if you've been told again and again how strange you are and you aren't around real people enough to disprove it. I had a life once - a job, friends, people who I enjoyed and who weren't repulsed by me. But for far too long I just thought I was inherently repulsive, and so it was a part of me, ingrained into my identity - and now it returns. This is wrong.
The answer is to do the things and meet the people. What you feel and what you aspire to and how you pursue these things are what matters. You can network online as well - search for organizations, reach out to them.
Well what should he do then ?
Looool. What a bunch of fucking losers.
Seriously are you guys by any chance communists because you'd think it will fix you up?
Fucking hell you give people with real problems and are really alienated a bad name, they can still be functional memebers of society at least. Why don't you become all anarchist or some shit and start giving space to people who actually get shit done? Bunch of fucking creeps.
Last thing communist needs are you sorry excuse of human beings
Everyone is going to call me a closeted Zig Forums fag or some shit which isn't true at all but honestly everything is bullshit OP. Life truly has no point at all and the vast majority of people are just cunts. Even under communism this would just be reduced not abolished. I still consider myself a communist and if I could would die on the frontlines of whatever "storming the bastille" movement we may or may not have in the future but more out of my own autistic sense of it being the inevitable next phase of society being held back by reactionaries not for "the greater good" or some other abstract moralism because there's quite literally no such thing. Basically I'm only still a communist because between "everyone and their mother being a cunt" and "half of everyone and their mother being a cunt" it only makes logical sense to choose the latter and so on with the environment and all that.
I don't mean to start in on "human nature" but that's precisely my point. There is no "human nature" sure but that goes both ways. Some humans are "naturally" (in the sense of automatically or "by default" if you will) shameless greedy faggots who will never stop and some are naturally nice and caring and compassionate etc. However there's a whole host of other complex horseshit in between those two polls and it'll continue under communism no matter how luxurious it is or isn't.
Things are never going to get better for people like you and I OP and will only get marginally better for most people even if communism is established. As a friend of mine told me recently either get over it or stick a gun in your mouth, there's no third option
Looool 2. People like you are actually the fucking worse. A lot of time I tried to help yo
u guys but you only wished to normies. You think you are deep and superior to then point where you actuallt rejecr people.
Kys
Literally said the opposite in my post user
I will soon enough
Trust me you actually do inside. That's why people like you always reject help if it's "the wrong guy". If it's not like this I'm sorry, be aware that the help could be just around the corner. It's up to you to ignore it or accept it.
Also if you feel so bad, seriously stop browsing this shithole. It's an echo chamber of weirdos and idiots. It will only increase your hate and frustration while confirming all your shit feelings about humanity
Also all of the /fit/-tier brosicence ITT really made me realize how retarded the average poster on this board has gotten the last couple of years. NoFap is 100 percent placebo on every level and often leads to more depression and some people are so fucking depressed they literally can't get out of bed or the house much less go out to a public fucking gym and demonstrate how weak they are in front of everyone.
Like a lot of you really don't get how mental illness generally works if you think yours being "cured" or more easily managed by a particular method is universally applicable to every single other depressed or mentally ill person.
I said this exact same thing in my original post you fucking idiot.
It's very easy to make friends and keep them if you aren't a judgemental asshole who constantly brings politics into things and polices behavior. Also nobody likes a critic. All that tearing everything apart and finding reasons why things suck makes people hate you. Let the people you meet be themselves around you.
fuck off you generic turd. you reekof retardation.
Not being judgmental? not talk about politics? we're not all generic retards like you you don't care aout anything.
I dn't give a fuck if people hate me since i'm teenager you useless sack of shit. Go to to /tv/ or /b/ they're etards talking about generic garbage there too like you.
Lmao didn't read it full. I'm gonna go eat something good in a random expensive resturant, meet some interesting people, go ride a bike a bike somewhere and watch a movie. Enjoy your piece of shit life.
This is why you don't have friends. The mere mention you should just be a friend enraged you. You forcing your politics down your friends throats won't change the world, it will only make that person hate you. You seem to be looking for a yes man to talk at, not a friend.
This, just be a member of society and you'll meet people.
The question was about making friends. Your depression comes from a lifetime of bad decisions. Get clean and stop being a bitch.
I lean to the right myself but being in California i tend to make left leaning friends. Some are okay with just being friends others, the left leaners ALWAYS want to get political, ALWAYS talk shit about things we do for fun etc. Stop being a stick in the mud.
read jordan pedersen dude
Nobody said that, that Is another huge problem with people like you. You don't hear what is said. You interpret and add things before the information gets to your brain then respond to what you imagined was said. It makes it impossible to talk to you.
Womp womp
Obviously, the psychological effects of alienation affect everyone. It's not easy to find time for forming intimate social relations when everyone's too occupied trying to secure their survival independently of the survivals of others. The more people relate and communicate through commodities and brands, the harder navigating human relations gets for those who don't correlate their own identity with capitalist subjectivity, or just have unrelatable interests. I'll spare myself the flattery and just admit I'm the latter: totally unrelatable due to massive autism.
For most of my life I was essentially completely alone besides family, who I can only describe as unhelpful full-auto lumpenproles without personalities, who I couldn't have a meaningful conversation with to save a life. It took 24 years of my life until finally by pure chance I came across someone who was unmistakably in a similar life situation as me, with a similar headspace to mine, and wasn't afraid to be genuinely critical and assertive. It took me all my life, up to the beginning of adulthood proper, to manage unpeeling someone's social defenses and routines enough that I could be sure other human beings and not just living machines really do exist. Through this first contact, I discovered others similar to us and eventually even lost my virginity to one of them.
I'd like it so that nobody had to wait 24 years or more to find Being in Other, but sadly the alienation from that comprehension lies at the very core of capitalist relations.
Just work on it. It won't change overnight.
Lol
Sounds to me like you are a woman looking for the perfect man. Why does a friend have to be so specific? Why can't you make friends with people who aren't you?
Leftyfags confirmed unsociable
I wish