What the hell? You CAN'T marry in the Church without marrying in civil ?

Who cares what the state thinks?
You are marrying for just reasons and that's what matters.

No. Civil marriage was required by the Church even before Christianity became the state religion of the Roman empire. Civil marriage has been required in the Ottoman Empire even though the (Orthodox) Church was considered an ethnic minority there.
Incidentally, that you are only fine with obligatory civil marriage if the State and Church aren't separated reeks of caesaropapism.

Either way, calm down, man. Remain obedient to your bishop. If he says you must get married by the state, get married by the state.

I don't want to say the Jews are behind this… but the Jews are probably behind this.

Well a couple of years ago the grand Rabbi of Paris wrote to the French president that marriage should be abolished.