Map your spiritual journey

Sebastian Mitchell
Sebastian Mitchell

raised protestant (Church of Christ)
agnostic at 13
atheist at 14
gnostic occultist at 15
protestant (Church of Christ) again at 17
Orthodox at 20

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Ayden Nelson
Ayden Nelson

raised Catholic, alas family is half Communist;
due to absent parents, turned lukewarm by the age of 15;
the thought of God keeps manifesting, leading to hatred of him from 16 to 19;
return to faith, but no hope for Heaven;
beginning of homosexual desires since 16 now fully manifest;
since the age of 20, nominally Catholic, but too much self-hatred and general disgust towards mankind to truly be a child of God.

This is where I am at right now.

Isaiah Lopez
Isaiah Lopez

Raised catholic
puberty/adolescence - not practicing, indulging in nihilism
Regain faith by adulthood hardline catholic now

Camden Lee
Camden Lee


Wyatt Davis
Wyatt Davis

family Muslim
raised atheist
got baptized Orthodox at 21
burned myself out, had a mental breakdown, was theistic Satanist for a few months then looked into Catholicism, at 22
back to Orthodox at 22
still Orthodox at 23

pretty boring

Asher Brown
Asher Brown

I am trying…yesterday I wanted to go to confession before mass, but I felt like I’m not worthy the effort. Plus, at times I have this voice screaming in my head, callitme useless, irredeemable and/or plain evil; I try to rebuke it, but recalling some of my sins (and how for some I don’t even have much of a sense of guilt) I fear I will not have a chance of heart. Plus, the idea of me being a reprobate with no hope to coming back has took roots in my mind.

Daniel Williams
Daniel Williams

Your sins are terrible, as are all sins, but God is eager to forgive you for them. The devil is the great accuser, the voice telling you you're unworthy of God's mercy is from the enemy. In a manner of speaking you are unworthy of God's mercy, as is everyone else, but that's how mercy works. Mercy doesn't come from your own level of worthiness, but rather it flows from God's infinite love. In fact, God is already bestowing a certain amount of mercy upon you; if He wasn't then you, and everyone else, would have been sent to Hell a long time ago. You can't beg for mercy because you deserve it, but you must beg for mercy because you need it

Isaiah Hughes
Isaiah Hughes

Thanks; all of that I “know” (as in: I read it and agreed with it), but I can’t bring myself to believe it for my soul. I am tired of failing God, and I keep hushing away those whom love me and those whom I used to love.

Connor Peterson
Connor Peterson

parents baptise me catholic
parents take me to mass every sunday
relunctatly go through the motions
thankfully its usually only a 30min novus ordo mass
be around 8-9 mum asks if i want to do first communion, say ok because I was prevented previously being 'underage' dueto roman rite customs
do first confession, give priest token sin and leave asap
never catechised
continue taking eucharist, since I never saw parents or anyone goto confession before, so unwittingly think its optional
have no concept of being in a 'state of grace'
goto catholic highschool, no one is actually catholic
become crypto deist since atheist cosmology never made sense to me, otherwise philosophy or religion didn't cross my mind
continue to reluctantly goto mass because of parents
finish high school
sometime later middle of the night decide to read bible, don't know why, start reading genesis, taking notes, naturally I move forward and back like a jew does when reading the bible idk why (lel)
somehow find Zig Forums, don't remember how, didn't even go on 4chan before or even frequent reddit
with the help of /pol/, they show me the absolute state and degeneracy of the modern world
be on Zig Forums, exposes me to true christianity or atleast a glimpse of it and among that apologetics and in turn philosophy
someone posts meme of being in a state of grace to recieve communion, realise i have been doing christianity wrong
start going to church, no longer reluctantly, still don't know what a catechism is so i search on random places on the internet for 'lists of sins' (looking back now that was silly), so i can confess
goto confession on my own accord for the first time, start weeping while confessing
later get exposed to conecpt of sedevacantism, start thinking maybe they're right, stop going to mass out of doubt
later decide sedevacantism is wrong
then i start considering orthodoxy, never really thought of considering them since i was content with Catholic Answers tier arguements against them
decide to see what orthodox perspective is, consider them for a couple of years
stop going to church because don't know which is true
finally decide in favour of catholicism making peace with novus ordo mass and vatican II
I strongly believe i was brought here by providence

Ryan Hall
Ryan Hall

Just go to Confession, and preferably attend a Mass right afterwards. When you experience God's mercy firsthand you'll truly believe it in your heart. If you can't silence the voice of the accuser then tolerate it, because it'll stop when God triumphantly snatches you away from your sins.

Leo Sanders
Leo Sanders

I have tried already…I cannot forgive myself and I can’t accept truly Hos forgiveness; that’s why until utter despair right now. I gave up, pretty much.

Ethan Rodriguez
Ethan Rodriguez

raised in a diet coke Reformed Christian family
atheist at 12-16
Roman Catholic inquirer at 17-18
Orthodox inquirer at 19

Adam Ortiz
Adam Ortiz

Pray the rosary and be lukewarm no more.

Jack Walker
Jack Walker

raised in a diet coke Reformed Christian family
What do you mean by "diet coke"?

Ryan White
Ryan White

Raised Christian since age 5 since God ended my mother's alcoholism
Grow up non-denom/Baptist Lite
Start researching the Church Fathers and the earliest Church in the past 3 years or so (25 now)
No longer anti-Apostolic, but still Baptist Lite

Mason King
Mason King

raised pentecostal
atheist 13
libertarian 14
socialist 17
occultist / witchcraft 18
conservative 20
high church lutheran 21
catholic or orthodox ???

William Ward
William Ward

raised catholic
baptised as a baby, confirmed, all of it without ever being really spiritual
get away from the church for a few years in my teens, but never stop believing in a God
I guess I was a deist of sorts
even though I believed in a God, I didn't really put my trust in Him at all
go to college
second year, start going back to mass at the chapel on campus
start dating southern Baptist gf
this is my first real encounter with anything other than catholicism
start to research it a bit
research goes full autism mode a couple weeks ago over spring break
start to see inconsistencies between catholic dogma and the Bible
look up the website for the church on campus where my gf usually goes
pretty sure they're modeled after the SBC
I agree with all of the things on their statement of beliefs
pretty much every statement on that list had been something I'd defended in an argument on this board that same day
went to that church by myself last week, had been praying a lot asking God if that's what He wanted me to do
the sermon hit on a lot of things that were incredibly close to the things I had been thinking about
God answered my prayers, He talked to me through that sermon a week ago

And that's about it for my story. I'm not a huge fan of the contemporary worship music at this new church but I mostly go there for the fact that I agree with their beliefs. I feel like my relationship with God is a lot better now. I don't hate catholics, I think there are a ton of good ones out there that I hope get to heaven, but I just don't agree with the teachings of the church anymore.

Jaxon Fisher
Jaxon Fisher

Literally me to a T except the sed/ortho stuff.

Jose Adams
Jose Adams

Which teachings?

Robert Morris
Robert Morris

Extra ecclesiam nulla salus, mariology, papal infallibility, transubstantiation, confession to a priest, salvation by works, and I'm sure there's one or two others that I'm forgetting here. I don't want to derail the thread with the same old arguments though.

John Carter
John Carter


Nathaniel Garcia
Nathaniel Garcia

normal Catholic childhood
around middle school: cultural catholic/agnostic
end of high school: general cultural catholic
college to present: christian identity woke

Connor Torres
Connor Torres

Raised with no religion
At 17 I begin to study philosophy
I vacillate between schools of thought
Mistakenly think of Socrates and Plato as irreligious people
Come to conclusion that Christianity was historically in the wrong
Discover Laconism and Stoicism
However in 2015 there seemed to be a wind of change in the air, and I hoisted sail to see where it would take me. Turns out I was wrong about everything. Socrates and Plato were deeply religious, and it was the Sophists who were the atheists. Took my leap of faith and returned to the church.

Josiah Hernandez
Josiah Hernandez

Raised Baptist.
Apostatized due to cognitive dissonance of my lukewarm worldliness in contrast with Christianity, along with the half-hearted catechism I received.
About one year spent, of alternating between Nihilist, Agnostic, etc. Whatever I felt like at the moment.
Briefly became New Age Wiccan-esque LARPagan due to emptiness, plus infatuation with Norse myths and "roots to muh ancestors."
Quickly turned into Reconstructionist LARPagan after coming across more academically sound material which opened my eyes to most "pagan" books in the New Age section at the Barnes and Noble being just "pagan" flavored mystery religion/feel good fluff bunny garbage.
Start to Idolize Bill Linzie and hang out at sites like Asatru Lore.
"Alt Right" gets tagged onto Reconstructionst LARPagan, after exposure to the pro "traditionalist" pagan ramblings of (I kid you not. He's a pseudo intellectual troll who started out owning and using the domain, and then switched over to the former for whatever reason) which serves as a gateway to the Alt Right/Manosphere as detailed below
One of the articles on his site sent me to a site called, which proceeds to springboard me to other "radical traditionalist"/PUA/"red pill"/manosphere sites like Amerika/Brett Stevens; American Nihilist Underground Society; under Richard Spencer before it became a blog, Roissy/Heartiste, RooshV/ROK, The Rawness, The Spearhead, Jack Donavan, and In Mala Fide/Matt Forney.
Exposure to GamerGate and, soon after, /pol/, exacerbate this.
During this time period, start my own LARPagan kindred, and said kindred collapses due to the petty anthill politics and toxic personalities that are endemic to LARPaganism.
Ironically also get wrapped up with Hippies/Hipsters/Punks, Drugs and the Occult during said time period as well. Go figure.
Building nagging doubts over the course of years, plus trying times that included almost literally losing my sanity, and the toxicity of the above communities, bring me back to Christ and Christianity.
The "Ex Effect" takes effect on LARPaganism and the above (i.e. how you often don't see the flaws in your ex or your relationship with them until you finally break up with them.) The moral relativity/glorified Nihilism cosplaying as Theism aspect of LARPaganism especially sticks out like a sore thumb by now.
Still once bitten, twice shy about weak catechism and overall experience with Baptist church and Protestantism in general.
Investigate Catholicism and Orthodoxy, and even give Protestants and Baptists a couple more college tries.
Fall in love with worship and theology of Orthodoxy.
Currently catechuman in Orthodoxy, prepping for baptism.

Aaron Taylor
Aaron Taylor

raised United protestant
Atheist by 12, as most united protestants do
Go through hard times around 16
Fall back into God
start reading bible
Become non denominational
Go to catholic church but get super sick and get heart pain the closer i get to the building, take it as a sign from God not to be catholic (Although looking back it may have been a satanic trick and/or coincidence.)
eventually my life starts going great and i'm happy again
Become lukewarm and feel shame every time i see my crucifix
(I am here)
hopefully finally pick a denomination and stop being a fair weather Christian.

Matthew Kelly
Matthew Kelly

Raised without anything, told to do whatever I please
Atheist at 13
Slowly realise atheism is pretty gay so grow out of it, vaguely believe in karma
Start LARPing as a crusader at 17/18 to derail Islam threads on /pol/
Eventually realise everything the bible says is true both socially and scientifically, decide to start praying
Begin actually reading the Bible and looking into things properly around 19, attempt to stop living as a degenerate
Eventually reach the conclusion around 20 that Protestantism cant be true based on the reading church fathers, leading to me wanting to become Ortholarp or Cathokek
Attended my first mass yesterday, was better than I expected even though I usually avoid as many social situations as I can
Will probably go again, still not entirely convinced on veneration but I assume whatever the answer is it will come as long as I truthfully seek the Lord

Angel Baker
Angel Baker

probably they only observed christian traditions and not believe it. lot of that going on in the world : /

Evan Ross
Evan Ross

Protestant upbringing
my family stopped attending our Baptist church at age 11 because the pastor was adulterous and greedy
agnostic at the age of 12
my mother took me to a few Protestant churches during my teens, but they were stupid as well (pastors complaining about their money problems during sermons, congregants acted as if on drugs, cliques, etc.)
by age 20 I'm moved out of my parents and have a car, and I feel God calling me to attend church once again
the only one I know of that seems okay is a "non-denominational" church that my uncle and cousin go to
get baptized there
discover that church has the same issues as all the other ones I've been to and get fed up with it
research the Roman Catholic Church and the history of Christianity leading up to my 21st birthday
my eyes are opened to the inherently flawed nature of Protestantism
after debating between the RCC, sedevacantists, and Orthodox, I conclude the former is the true Church
on my way to becoming a candidate in the RCC at 21
While I'm still very immature in my faith, I have no doubts I'm finally home now. Perhaps I'll study Latin and attend a TLM in time, but for now I'm more than content with Novus Ordo.

Cooper Rivera
Cooper Rivera

Go to catholic church but get super sick and get heart pain the closer i get to the building, take it as a sign from God not to be catholic
It's good to fear god. If you've sinned a lot you want to stay in the darkness where no one can see, but if you fear the lord you know you will be judged sooner or later so you might as well ask for his forgiveness and not disobey him again.

The same thing happened to me the first time I went to confession and it still happens when I go back to confession after not having gone for a while. But after that first time, I swear the world smelled better. I would still have panic attacks at mass for the first few months but they went away but I was super fugged up in the head when I started going.

Also I should mention that you can't just go to confession as a non Catholic. You have to be going through rcia and be taught by a priest how to confess properly and what confession is all about. I didn't have to do this because I was confirmed as a lukewarm kid who's lukewarm mom made him do it for cultural reasons.

Jace Rodriguez
Jace Rodriguez

One of the signs of demonic possession is an aversion to holy things, such as Churches or crucifix. You feel pain and shame from both things, so maybe you would need to consult a Catholic Exorcist to deal with whatever is inside you.

Eli Fisher
Eli Fisher

This. It's time to get rid of that evil spirit that sank it's claws into you.

Julian Howard
Julian Howard

raised by lukewarm Methodists
decided to be edgy fedora to fit in with local branch of the trench coat mafia
decided not to be edgy fedora when i was nearing my mid 20s
i just want to forget everything that happened between 13 and 24.

Oliver Fisher
Oliver Fisher

raised by atheist parents, mum a "whatever faith makes you happy" type, dad a literal reddit atheist, raised atheist ofc
always had a slight feeling God was real and didn't like that bc I didn't want to be judged
become major fedora between 14-17
start browsing pol, they get me to read Evola and I come to the conclusion godlessness has been the cause of society's moral collapse. No clue which religion to be though
become unironic vargfag at 17
realise that's gay at 18 and start looking into the church, come across this board and meet some decent lads on discord who explained the basics to me
decide on the RCC after months of back and forth between that and Orthodoxy, hoping to be received next year

Xavier Moore
Xavier Moore

raised baptist
larped pretty hard as a christian fundementalist simply to be a contrarian
found ifb steven aderson stuff at 20
actually started reading the bible
figure out the baptist church isnt very biblical at all on many doctrines
search for the true church as described in scripture
21 til now (26yo) church of Christ

Adrian Scott
Adrian Scott

grew up agnostic to two fallen away catholic converts
had little to no idea of religion until teens
became interested in philosophy and literature during early high school
spent half of high school a closet christian, studying the bible and revered writings while discerning a denomination to join
want to be orthodox bc of mysticism but due to distance from church and ethnic focus I settle for Catholicism
convert, became a very devout catechumin.
few months after reception into the church become tortured by guilt, would write pages of my sins to bring to confession weekly
dislike how there is no serious devotion in the local community
became pagang about a year ago, mostly to escape said guilt, dived into the occult to satisfy need for mysticism
faith in paganism is now gone, realize that most of the actual positive influences from it and the occult were already within christian mysticism
started lurking here to find my path again

Not gonna lie my journey has been pretty bad, do you guys have any advice for my current situation?

Bentley Flores
Bentley Flores


No seriously, go read Damick's Orthodoxy and Heterodoxy, it clears up a lot of misunderstandings and misconceptions about many denominations, not just Orthodoxy.

Thomas Sullivan
Thomas Sullivan

Don't go into Christianity looking for a true mystical experience, that will only bring disappointment. A true mystic experience is a gift from God that he bestows only on those truly fit to receive such a blessing. Very, very few people are.

Tyler Thomas
Tyler Thomas

Read the Bible and pray every day, ask God to help you find out where He wants you. Remember to never test God, don't ever ask Him "if you're real do x" or anything like that. Confess your sins to Him and turn from sin as best as you can, put your trust in Him and let Him work through you. If you have specific questions I'd be glad to try and help.

Carter Barnes
Carter Barnes

^^^^ A thousand times THIS. Had "mystical experiences" myself while a LARPagan. Can say from personal experience, that if you have a "mystical experience", there is a 99.99999% chance that your are literally just being trolled by demons. Even bona fide canonized saints were tempted with false visions of angels, paradise and even Christ himself. Always test such things and be on your guard.

Zachary Torres
Zachary Torres

raised in atheist household
become innate theist 6-8
become 'Christian' - I believed in Christianity, but doesnt understand the new testament or significance of Jesus. Just believed the God of the Bible was right and that new testament was significant. From 8-12
12-18 Agnostic
19 - Come close to God again
19 1/2 - Become Christian, look at various denominations, theology and history
20 - Get baptised Catholic
Present, still a strong Catholic.

William Hughes
William Hughes

raised nominally non-denom with Charismatic leanings and rarely went to Church
odd spouts of caring about God and occult or spiritual matters
never super serious about it despite spiritual experiences until 17
become a gn*stic heretic
study Christian esotericism
somehow find orthodox Christianity, latch on to Christ
slowly convert to Catholicism despite many difficulties
lapse into Orthodoxy and Calvinism during the conversion process
somehow remain Catholic
get fully solidified in the teaching at 19
begin to doubt and question while still somehow maintaining Catholicity

And here I am just before baptism, but God will save me.

Connor Hughes
Connor Hughes

raised Anglican-Light (Methodist)
stop believing God cares at 11-12
become Deist
Become born-again Evangelical at 17
Loner-Christian for a decade
Realize Evangelical theology is retarded
Power of the Holy Spirit oddly absent from other churches though…
Teach fellow Evangelicals better theology while going out and spreading the gospel on weekends for the win.

Kayden Gonzalez
Kayden Gonzalez

I wasn't really implying mysticism as talking with spirits, but more along the lines of spiritual fulfillment (yoga, meditation), but I see your guys' points. Thanks a ton, this is really gonna give me something to chew over the next few weeks.

Oliver Carter
Oliver Carter

Raised Agnostic (thnx state sponsored education)
become Christian by 17 (started reading Bible and theology, but despised church for being curroupted to core)
get memed into watching Anderson a year later
Find out KJV is the one and only authentic word of God
plan on becoming Baptist soon

Thanks Zig Forums for introducing Anderson to me.

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Chase Ramirez
Chase Ramirez

My only connection with Christianity growing up was my (still living) maternal grandparents (Salvation Army, think Methodists but they reject Baptism and Holy Communion.) taking me to church when I visited on the weekends
Effectively 0 catechism, I legitimately didn't even know who the Apostles were for years
Go through the usual bratty 'I don't wanna go to church reeee' period
wind up the sort of atheist you'd expect to unironically wear a fedora and have a neckbeard, a point I thankfully never reached
The 'tism eventually gets me into history, starting I think with the typical 'muh romans' and expanding into the Medieval and Hellenistic eras
My memory's a bit foggy here but it was either that or my delving into imageboards that finally pushed me into a 'Hey maybe I jumped to conclusions on this whole religion thing, this all looks fascinating'
Coupled with general discontent as to my current state of affairs, become a quasi-Deist/gain a vague 'cultural' appreciation for religion
Still averse to Christianity due to past years of fedora tippage
Desire for actual substance leads me to Zoroastrianism. My understanding of theology was shaky at best at this point, but it clicked with me that Monotheism was the 'sensible' stance.
The other part of my mentality was 'something that ancient had to be more correct than what came later, right?' Not the best argument but it kept me out of new age rubbish, so a small blessing nonetheless.
Due to my location, I have access to neither the Avesta nor a Fire Temple, so my enthusiasm eventually burns out.
Though I will admit to it making me an iranaboo, and my fondness for the Mazdaists remains
Dive deeper into my historical 'tism
learn more about Christianity in a burst of cobbled-together self-Catechism than the rest of my life up to that point put together
Finding this place helped to solidify my faith and pull me out of depravity
In hindsight, thank the Lord I didn't go to Reddit first. /r/Christianity would've sent me right back to Zoroastrianism
Feel called to the Orthodox Church, which has absolutely no presence where I lived. Tons of Mennonites, a Latin parish, one of those Lutheran churches that's actually decent, etc.
Only get to act on this pull when I leave for college
stumble, falter, and struggle.
Not to imply I've ever stopped doing that, mind
Baptized about two years ago
I can't thank you all enough for being there for the early steps of my walk with Christ. I love you all, God bless you.
even the mods
I actually cried while typing this and I don't even care how lame that sounds

Nathaniel Ross
Nathaniel Ross

Out of all Satan worship you choose Zoroastrianism

Out of all nations, you choose to like the worst one, Iran.

Inspiring story btw

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Ian Parker
Ian Parker

You're probably not around by now but I meant it as in "feel-good loosely Christian, very under catechized and non-practicing Christian family".

Logan Gray
Logan Gray

raised non-religious (not atheist)
dad didn't care or talk about god
mom new age type
identify as atheist by age of 10 or 11
start reading philosophy at around 14
keep reading philosophy and some mythology for next couple years while realizing modern materialist egalitarian society is wrong and need to find alternative
become larpy vargite neo-pagan white nationalist at age 16-17
eventually realize pagan religion makes no sense to me and I don't believe it and many people who claim to be neo-pagan are way stupider than me and have no idea what they're talking about so yeah def not true religion
big fan of Tolkien
realize he was a Catholic
start watching and reading Catholic stuff explaining existence of God i.e. Thomistic necessary being etc
Accept there is one metaphysical creator God
Read the Bible
Fascinated and not what I expected
Read Gospel of Matthew
Blown away by Jesus
Feel extremely inspired but also convicted
Get on knees and submit to God in prayer
Get up from prayer and see whole new world in a whole new way
Feel forgiven and empowered by Holy Spirit
Most compelling experience of my life before or since
Knew God was real in that moment never felt happier best day of my life by far
Continued in prayer and study and living life
Present day now

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Chase Roberts
Chase Roberts

raised Protestant
from x years old to ~12 we went to various churches in search for the truth, ended up just doing Bible-study at home every Sunday
abandoned Christianity at ~17 because I thought it was preventing me from living life the way I wanted to
at 22 I realized that life has no meaning without God, so I started searching for the truth about Him
24 now, I'm convinced that God lives and I'm happier than I've ever been. Still doing Bible study at home instead of going to church. I consider myself non-denom, but would probably fall in the category of Protestantism.

Oliver Sanders
Oliver Sanders

literally hasn't attacked another country in centuries
Shia more moderate than Wahhabism
yet still resists secularism
doesn't have any nukes while Israel does
hosts Dr. E. Michael Jones, Catholic intellectual

Iran isn't so bad user. Don't listen to the Jews.

Jaxon Jackson
Jaxon Jackson

Aye, in addition to more archetypal occult phenomenon, I also count so called "spiritual highs" amongst pseudo "spiritual experiences.

When I first apostatized from Christianity, I remember having one of the best feelings in the world. Like I had a 50 ton weight lifted off my shoulders, was free and everything was going to be okay from that point on. It lasted a good while…. but it didn't last. Eventually the emptiness came. I even had good warm and fuzzy feelings, and a sense of being on the right path that I would be on for the rest of my life, in addition to the more intense occultic experiences. That lasted for an even longer while… but even that ultimately eroded over time.

In contrast, the good feelings I get with Christianity are simultaneously more and less intense. They are much more profound and grounded. To make a comparison: if the spiritual high from false paths is akin to puppy love or casual flings or a childish crush, in contrast, Christianity gives you a much more deeper, stable and consistent feeling, akin to the sense of long-term companionship acquired in marriage.

Which is why I'm taking my catechism much more seriously. Good feelings alone can still be deceptive, and I know that baptism is a deadly serious commitement. I know that reading every theology book every before I get baptized is not realistic, but I still want to be well grounded in the theology and understanding of my Church and other denominations as well before I take that big step.

Caleb Wood
Caleb Wood

literally hasn't attacked another country in centuries

Iran controls Lebanon through hezbollah and funds pro government rebels in yemen. It's imperialistic like America.

Shia more moderate than Wahhabism

They ain't, once when they outbreed you they'll persecute Christians. Also, Christians are persecuted in Iran and soul winning is punishable by death.

yet still resists secularism

They don't, it's a sugar coating. Deep within cities there's degeneracy, heck even homosexuality.

doesn't have any nukes while Israel does

They do try to make one

No Muslim is an ally, Iran is no better than Saudi.

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Connor Turner
Connor Turner

0-16 Catholic
16-21 atheist
21-28 new age
28-29 Weird Christian/new age hybrid
29-32 Non Denominational
32-33 High church Lutheran

Joseph Nelson
Joseph Nelson


Bentley Carter
Bentley Carter

0-10 Nothing in particular.
11-12 Baptist.
13-14 Catholic.
15 Agnostic.
16-18 Catholic again.
I will be Catholic forever now.

Luke Jenkins
Luke Jenkins

Baptised UMC at 8 years old
Became Buddhist (Mahayana) at 15 years old
Returned to UMC at 35 years old
Became Catholic at 38 years old
I suppose I'll be Catholic until I die.

Samuel Kelly
Samuel Kelly

raised in a traditional sicilian catholic home
became agnostic in middle/early high school
returned to the faith in high school, just couldn't deny God is real and Christ was who He said he was
tackled with theology an became confessional lutheran in college
not even lutheran for a year then it closed because no people no money
more or less returning to catholicism our of necessity

James Hill
James Hill

raised Catholic
attend Catholic school from grades 1-10
begin to not take it so seriously
fall in with some reddit-tier internet communities
become one of those lukewarm fags who says stuff like "Oh I'm sure the Church will approve of gay marriage sooner or later."
only basis for believing is "well I was raised this way and also you can't disprove faith"
grade 11 get dropped into the public school system
immediately uncomfortable with the open displays of extreme degeneracy
discover 2012-era /pol/ at this time
witness the birth of *tips fedora*
Catholic generals start popping up
somebody posts pic related
suddenly actually really seriously believe in God
suddenly actually really start taking my faith seriously
get progressively more religious over the next three years
reaches its peak in the Lent of 2015
massive nofap streaks, Lectio Divina every day
finally forced to take on soulless wageslavery
it all falls apart
constant feeling of being burnt out
apathy, chronic masturbation, shitposting addiction
say stuff like "well I know that logically there must be a God but I can't really feel it in my heart for some reason"
made a concrete plan to commit suicide, got within an hour or so of doing it and only refrained because I suddenly felt too apathetic
still attend Mass every Sunday, as long as my wageslavery allows me to
a month or two ago
read C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain
get to the part where Lewis writes about how our sins really are abominable
really affects me deeply
Lent of 2019
Rosary + Lectio Divina every day
day 17 of nofap
finally starting to "feel" it again
desperately hoping that God will give me the grace to keep this going for the rest of my life

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Samuel Adams
Samuel Adams

Raised with no religion
Had a life changing experience that convinced me to believe in Christ. While I wasn't a Catholic, it was a nun at a Catholic school I attended who first planted the seeds of the gospel.
That said, I never officially became Catholic despite the seed she planted. I ended up being baptized in a neighbor's church (the Church of Christ like you originally), but they turned out to be the more congregational variant and way too insular and small to convince me they were the true church
Since going my own way, it's been 20 years of asceticism and being on the outskirts of other denominations since. I see a lot of good in many, but might come closest to Orthodox. The only reason I'm not Orthodox is that they would "re-baptize" me again.. simply because I have no proof of baptism from that Church of Christ congregation. I refuse to be baptized again. There is one baptism, and God has blessed me greatly this far.. and it's just plain insulting to be baptized again. I know they mean well, but I can't do it. I can't even think about it right now without feeling a little sick and tense over it.

So I'm just an informal Christian ascetic with Orthodox leanings.

Caleb Jones
Caleb Jones

and it's just plain insulting to be baptized again. I know they mean well, but I can't do it. I can't even think about it right now without feeling a little sick and tense over it.

I'd encourage you to contemplate and pray about this deeply. Being involved with a community and under the guidance of a church is essential to one's spiritual journey.

Hudson Perez
Hudson Perez

baptized state church lutheran
atheist for most of my childhood(family is not religius)
decided to do a christian confirmation, cause why not do it the real way and not some wierd atheist copy.
began beliving after that, and have since. still in the state church.(the only lutheran church in my area)

Ethan Bennett
Ethan Bennett

Born Baptist, never took much interest in it since I was always materialistic and rationalist, to the point I did math in the pews.
Family moves away from local church, stop going and I'm glad for it, become atheist.
Fast forward to 13, when I start digging into philosophy due to the naturalistic perceptive losing its intrigue to me, become Stoic.
Studying religions after having a breakdown in the snow one winter, quickly filter out all non-Abrahamic religions due to their origins of folk gods and/or pseudo gnosticism ala Buddhism.
Decide though to try occultism at 14 because I wanted to see what this new-age foolishness was all about.
Get a literal demon, which is a whole story in and of itself
Begome Christian at 15 because Islam is incoherent and Jews are tribalistic and I'd had years of /pol/ by this point, not to mention the winnie the pooh demon
Basically be a non-demon (actually) until I got more solid theological understanding, go to a Baptist church in the meantime. Catholic and Orthodox friend ask me about my beliefs on things like the Eucharist, authority of the Church, priestly orders, etc, and they start calling me a Crypto-Catholic.
Get into Cathodox theology, eventually decide on Catholicism at age 16 due to their theology being much more developed and less unknowable like Ortho theology tended to be
Due to a terrible living situation, couldn't go to a church for two years, at 18 finally get to a RCC and become a catechumen.
Get baptised at 19, confirmed, the works.
20 now, finally got rid of the demon after a long battle and still happily Catholic.
A lot of friends of mine moved onto Orthodoxy though, and that's a bit shaky for me. I can't abandon sound truth that easy though.

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Nolan Stewart
Nolan Stewart

get a demon
tell story?

Jose Campbell
Jose Campbell

raised irreligious
edgy fedora during teens
get interested in Taoism for some reason
drug induced existential crisis at 17
long story
read about Christianity to try to disprove/debunk it
five years later of intense study
Slowly came to believe in the Christian faith over that time
Now Christian

Hunter Lopez
Hunter Lopez

When I converted, the Orthodox Church didn't re-baptize me. There was a tiny dispute between the two parishes that I went to, and the one I went to most went ahead and chrismated me without baptizing me a second time. Maybe just try to find a different parish?

Matthew Harris
Matthew Harris

born in 95% Catholic country to parents who essentially never were part of the faith in reality
parents get evangelized by protestant missionaries, non denominational afaik
move to another country, mainly protestant
parents too busy adjusting to really do much churchgoing for the first couple of years
we're turning into a meme Christian family that doesn't really understand much except what we memorized from our church back in the home country
once we've slowed down a bit, we start looking for churches that speak our language
all of them are trash, in hindsight now I understand that they were all prosperity gospel churches
we just don't go to church
we are now a meme Christian making basic bitch theology mistakes
I spend my time as a cultural Christian until maybe the latter half of college, mostly the "Christianity is how I worship God, but every religion leads to God, also yay homosexuality!" type
gaymer gate (very pathetic) hits and it seems like the institutions I trusted are attacking me unfairly while the institutions I hated are defending me
slowly go from liberal to conservative, by the end of college
begin to see how stupid the religious beliefs I had are, and basically ask God to show me the way
out of college, I start work and my boss is an elder at his non denominational protestant church
he notices my curiosity and invites me Bible study for lunch, then eventually his church
I start going autistic about it and have been attending for three years now
preaching the gospel to all of my friends, my wife's family, my family
I feel very fulfilled, lads. About to go read the Bible to my mother in law.

Justin Martin
Justin Martin

geez was everyone here once an apostate / larpagan? Well I had gave in with the memevacantist thing once so I guess I can't brag.

prepare for blogpost rip.

Raised Catholic in family of 5 boys by very religious mother, loving parents.
Have an older brother who i'm a lot alike, who debated atheists
Honestly family in general is rightwing, willing to be controversial, not conspiricy kind of based tho - always been of a more intellectual grain, so thomas sowwel / milton freedman individualist types.
rubs off on me, try to defend the faith. Don't have absolute certainty, or even that much understanding in the faith, but generally speaking want to do what is proper *[i was obviously not doing things proper then].
Randomly as a 10 year old decide to abstain from swearing. Basically I figured if swearing was a sin, then I could save out on a lot of sin by never getting the habit. Honestly i'm not even sure if it is a sin, though St. Peter did say not to be a potty mouth.
Randomly as a 13 year old decide that, seeing as I don't understand the faith very well, i'll become a priest so that i'll have to get my religious life in order one day.
Some occasions I considered other dreams, but never gave up on wanting to be a priest in the end.
Struggle in learning anime - teaches me a lesson more useful than anything I learned in school (which I sucked at) - to see things as they are with your eyes.
Fast forward to when i'm like, what, 16, 18? I don't even remember.
William lane craig does the cosmological argument / disproves the multiverse theory.
Finally understand why this argument works. My exact words were "oh crap you really do exist, I mean I'd always thought, but now I really know."
Convinced with certainty that God does in fact exist, though nothing really happens other than that I change; My belief is strong and unironic for sure - you can't fake belief of this kind, and honestly it seems essential, but I think this is just God's build up for the next part. Oh and I learn my traditional arguments for God's existence.
be 20 or so now. Have been trying to quit masturbation on and off for a long, long ass time, way before WLC, but always, always end up failing. Even watch degenerate futa hentai (the big gay) by making excuses. By happenstance, after a trip to the cottage without internet, me and the lads agree to not fap once there because we were in bunk beds, but mostly as a joke.
Notice when I come back from cottage that it is suddenly really easy to resist temptation to fap - like i'm a fortress.
Piece it together that maybe the reason why it's so hard for me to quit, is because i'm surrounded by lewds all the time, and so it makes my willpower weak, and if I isolate myself from it better, my willpower will be strong enough to deal with.
holy crap that makes sense.
Feelin pretty good about this one. I think it's gonna work.
Actually I'm so sure, this is actually probably the last time i'll ever masturbate, so how about one last go, for the last time. I thought as I washed the dishes. AS i'm thinking that, i'm washing the inside of a cup, feel something wrap around my finger - it's a big ass centipede. Fling that shit off. Procede to stand around blown away that that actually just happened, that a massive centipede just wrapped around my finger.
Immediately realize - Could I have received a clearer sign? I mean the timing is so perfect, this is obviously from God.
didn't fap that night (though I wanted to).
Start seeing signs from God in the bugs he sends me, opening communications to receive commands from him for the first time.
Lots of little taps, little things
Get a job, for some reason things work out in such a way that i'm thinking all day and write my thoughts down during break in a notebook to compare thoughts day by day, and I learn more than i'd ever learned in my entire life, at a rate so much faster than what i'm used to. Also it's nice having money. I don't know how anyone could complain about work, work is great if you get to think and write down your thoughts.
I am of course, long since on /pol/ and such by now.
completely lose interest in debating atheists, refuting protestantism and studying the diamond brothers as well as theology in general is waay, way more interesting.
aaa learning interpretive/intuitive style reasoning. Aaa the memevacantist phase. So many little things.

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Brayden Brown
Brayden Brown

Well, I want to believe what is proper, did I not say? Which means I hate wishful thinking, and doing things in bad faith, and I hold out for the Catholic faith, they're always right in the end, so when the diamond brothers show their stuff, I can't see any way out. For the first time ever, I concede - this is the catholic faith and vatican II is false, and that revelation stuff, as well as church history honestly makes it seem like anything is possible. Though rationally I felt the arguments for sedevacantism were fullproof and I couldn't see how I could get around it, conceding just didn't feel good. Not like a betrayal or anything like that, more like i'd just never given in to an argument before - i'm so used to resisting that actually not resisting felt weird. Didn't like it. I also didn't like how I found myself identify that I am a sedevacantist, as though I were something different from a Roman Catholic. But what got me out wasn't my own reason but grace - the whole time I knew that if God would give me the sign that it was wrong, I would drop it; I became more and more convinced, yet he never seemed to give a sign 1 way or another - it was really annoying actually. Between the paralels between luthers reformation and trumps awoovement, sedevacantist issues, and Catholicism, I had never been more confused in my life, and I said it frequently. One time I knew this was the one where I was going to receive the confirmation 1 way or another, and in the genius way in only a way God could think to do it, he gives the strongest confirmation… of a halfway inbetween answer. So I took halfway as the answer - I was to wait and continue the struggle, but at least this time with more hope and more ease. It had been bothering me that I hadn't seen anything from him since the start of these troubles, it made me even more concerned if I was on the right path. Eventually I agreed to go to a latin mass, something I wanted to do before as a traditionalist, but ultimately became forbidden by sedevacantist principals of not going to the counter church, traditionalist or no. "Halfway" made me think it was right to violate these principals. The priest was based af traditionalist Jewish convert to the faith, some of the most beautiful and genuine people you'll ever meet. A man who cries at the sight of the priest, walking up to the altar merely by the sight of his thoughtful reverence. People who give a shit, who participate, women who wear the nice little cloth thingies on their heads in modesty, and man was it beautiful. You could see that it was made by Christians for God - even the lights had crosses embroiden in them, the latin and pastel colors. This was the way church ought to be, it was everything I had always wanted to see, but there in front of me. More importantly, I talked with him after mass, and he was familiar with the diamond brothers and all that. Basically he gave the impression of "the guy has good points and I don't think I could refute them all, but naw, stay in the faith", and that's what I did. Eventually I did find problems with it, so it's no longer just on faith to have good reason to think they are wrong, but that's what it took to get out. Well now as a symptom of the diamond brothers, he got me praying the rosary 2-3 times a day for a time, and he ultimately made me not let anyone hold that type of high influence over me anymore.

And more or less, now I'm here, practicing more. It's been a few months since then tho.

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Hunter Jones
Hunter Jones

Atheist: 1-15
Atheist leaning Agnostic with Gnostic/Dualist and broadly Christian sympathies: 15-19
Atheist leaning Agnostic with primarily Catholic and broadly Christian sympathies: 19-now

I cannot convince myself to believe, but I fully support Christendom's efforts against secularism. I hold Atheism to be true, but a truth that is not useful may as well remain unknown.

Grayson Russell
Grayson Russell


Dominic Cruz
Dominic Cruz

I'd encourage you to contemplate and pray about this deeply. Being involved with a community and under the guidance of a church is essential to one's spiritual journey.
I appreciate the concern and advice. I will do so.. and honestly, I have. It seems that I'm constantly asking God lately in particular.

That said, I think we've always had elements that separated. Not just the church with it's hermits and desert dwellers.. but also in Israel. There is the tradition of the shepherd - the wanderer.. and the farmer - the man of civilized community. After Moses, it extended to inward turning prophets and the outward focused Levites. Not to say I'm a prophet though! By no means. Just that Imaybe I'm still safe standing a bit on the outskirts. It's not necessarily by choice though.. I don't say this out of pride. I don't always like it, and wish I fit in somewhere. At least from time to time.

This is a nice thread btw. I know we all don't agree on many details, but I like hearing your stories.

John Scott
John Scott

baptized and raised eastern orthodox
agnostic at age 12
atheist at age 13
switched between the two for 3 years due to lack of hope in humanity
sort of went back to orthodox at age 17, though am still nihilistic, doubtful, and depressed
still orthodox at age 19

Pretty much me right now.

Logan Jones
Logan Jones

Dad's a pagan
mum is Catholic
born berber
become a hedonist at age 17
become a father by this time
later become a Manichaeist cause why not
fast forward 15 years
break-up with my gf and abandon my son
prepare myself to marry new heiress, but she's 2 years away from being legal (she was 10)
Hebephilia isn't pedophilia okay ?
fast-forward some years
break up engagement and become celibate
fast forward some years
move to Italy and get introduced to works of plotinus
mfw at this moment I feel euphoric
begome gadolig
shitpost irl about donatist and dualist
shitpost soo hard that I became a bishop
be me
be Augustine

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Jacob Flores
Jacob Flores

Come on user, you can't say you got a literal demon and not tell the story

Hudson Wilson
Hudson Wilson

ikr? where's the demon story user

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